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My Sweet Baby Kiwi

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#1 SugarShock



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Posted 11 November 2012 - 08:21 AM

I've never seen a more gruesome scene in my entire life and I will never be able to forgive myself for what happened because it could have and should have been prevented.

Kiwi was the older of my two Quakers, I found her just around three years ago, laying outside in the grass - she had been hit by a car and her wing was badly damaged. I was very pleased with myself because at the time, I had really wanted a bird but my father did not like them and I had given up on thinking I would ever have one - until I found little Kiwi. I rushed her into the veterinarian I use for my Sugar Gliders, who specializes in birds, and was informed that although her wing was not broken, it was badly infected and would have to be removed.

Having worked with exotic animals my entire life, I knew the special care that a handicapped bird might require and I was prepared for it. I did everything I could to make her comfortable and despite how much I loved spending time with her, I decided to get her a friend because I knew she had once been a wild bird and she probably would miss her flock, but she couldn't be released back into the wild. The surgery went well and Kiwi recovered quickly. Once she had healed completely, I began the search for a friend for her...

That's when I found my Callista. Calli came to me from a breeder in Naples, Florida. Like Kiwi, she was also a Quaker, but she was blue and I thought she was so beautiful. I introduced the sweet, little baby bird to Kiwi and it was love at first sight, the two soon became inseparable. Of course, as I had been warned, they became very cage territorial and somewhat aggressive once paired, even though they were both females. Regardless, Kiwi seemed so much happier and Calli took great pleasure in helping Kiwi eat and helping her recover - she took wonderful care of my baby Kiwi... And I loved them both.

Recently, I took in an orphaned raccoon, who I have been nursing back to health. He has been staying in my bedroom as he is quite small and I had been bottle feeding him for sometime. Rascal, as we call him, would sleep with me every night and he would cry when I left my room. He was very attached to me, and not once did he go near any of my animals, not the gliders or the birds - he was such a good baby and despite his love for making a mess, I had decided to keep him, as I believed the challenges were worth it - now, I have a very different opinion.

On November 6th, 2012, I remember walking into my room and seeing both my birds walking along the outside of the cage but wondering how they had gotten out. I did not leave the cage open and it's a pretty difficult door to open in itself - I didn't even imagine that Rascal would have done it, he didn't even seem to know they existed. I gently placed Kiwi back in the cage and grabbed Calli from where she was on top of the cage (I had never clipped her wings because of the many other animals, I wanted her to be able to get away if something should happen, god forbid. Unfortunately, I couldn't do the same for my Kiwi).

I secured and locked the cage, checking it multiple times before leaving my room to resume checking my e-mail and browsing the different forums on my mom's laptop... I came back what must have been an hour or so later and the scene I saw absolutely horrified me. The cage was wide open once more and my Callista had flown to the top of my gliders' cage... But I didn't see Kiwi anywhere. On the other side of my bed, my sweet Kiwi lay on the floor - feathers and nails all plucked and in a pool of her own blood - she had been violently slaughtered and Rascal was sitting close by... I knew instantly why the cage was open and I felt so, so guilty for putting my Kiwi in that situation that led to her death. I couldn't even look, my dad had to pick her up and carry her outside, where we buried her. I couldn't believe it, I had killed my baby.

Shortly after, I found a rescue home for Rascal, I couldn't even look him in the face. As far as Callista, my home is no longer filled with that cherry chirruping, it's now filled with an awkward and deathly silence. She doesn't chirp, doesn't play with her toys, she seems so depressed and I don't know what I can do for her to make it easier - it's my fault that she lost her best friend and she had to watch it happen. I can only imagine what she must have been feeling, as for Kiwi, I don't even want to imagine.

Rest in peace my sweet Kiwi, don't ever forget that mommy loved you - I just wish that I could have said goodbye, I wish I had spent more time with you after having gotten Calli for you, I wish we were still as close as we were before Calli, I regret it - I wish I had shown you how much you were loved, you meant so much to me and you touched the lives of all those around you with your endless strength and love for life. Sleep well, I know you're among the angels and one day, I will find you again.

August 8th, 2009 - November 6th, 2012 </3

~Lauren Elizabeth
R.I.P My beloved Kiwi, I'm so, so sorry.

#2 cnyguy


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Posted 11 November 2012 - 09:27 PM

So sorry for your heartbreaking loss.

#3 Jan Cullen

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Posted 11 November 2012 - 09:29 PM

This is very sad. I am so sorry for your loss. We often dont realise that predators come in all shapes and sizes. I had pet rats and a cockatiel and was minding someone else's cockatiel. The rats had never bothered about the birds. One fateful day, I took a bath having let out the rats and the cockatiels. Like you, I was horrified when I returned to the room - one dead cockatiel on the floor with rats nearby. And it wasnt even my cockatiel - it belonged to a 12 year old child. Dont beat yourself up over this - we all make mistakes and it is a hard lesson to learn but, like me, you will know better next time. Just give your other quaker a little time to readjust - spend more time with Calli and try and cheer up for her sake. While you will never forget what happened, you have to forgive yourself - it was an accident.
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#4 msdani1981


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Posted 12 November 2012 - 12:20 AM

I'm so so sorry for your loss. Like Jan said, it was an accident. Please forgive yourself, for little Calli's sake (and yours, too). Remember your joy in finding Kiwi and nursing her back to health. Remember all of the quirks that made Kiwi who she was. :)

You will never forget Kiwi, but I promise the pain will fade in time. Take all the time you need to grieve.


#5 Rachel O Sullivan

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Posted 12 November 2012 - 01:10 AM

I am so sorry for your loss it must be terrible on you Waffle's is here less than a week and could not think what it would be like without him . Thought's are with you x

#6 LindeeV


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Posted 13 November 2012 - 05:52 PM

I'm so sorry to hear this. Accidents are just that, accidents. Don't blame yourself for what happened.

I hope you and Calli can help each other heal from this.


#7 Lyn



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Posted 24 November 2013 - 06:00 PM

I am so sorry for your loss.  I cried upon reading this.  Accidents do happen.  I too blamed myself for losing my Kokomo.  My husband was constantly reminding me it was an accident.  Kiwi knows you would never have intentionally put her in harms way.  She knows it was an accident.  Not your fault.  Try to focus on the good memories.  Time will heal.  My prayers go out to you.  smile.png

#8 Allee


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Posted 24 November 2013 - 09:19 PM

I am so very sorry for your loss. Sometimes we just can't foresee a tragic outcome until it actually happens. We all love our feathered babies and do everything possible to keep them safe. It was an accident and I'm sure no one blames you, please try not to blame yourself. Kiwi knew she was loved and she would be the first to forgive you. Calli will need you as much as you need her. My thoughts are with you and Calli.