[QuakerMom42]

I don't doubt I did the right thing. I don't even doubt the kind of parront Paulie and Peanut got. Why then do I find myself crying all the time, when I never cry? Little things set it off, but the mention of Paulies name is the biggest trigger. Now I know I don't suffer from clinical depression but right now I have the blues, or situational depression. If I had to do it all over again I would still chose to do what I have done. It would be selfish for me to keep them with the limited time I have to spend with them, when I am pretty much locked in my room night and day. Yes I made sure every day I checked on them several times a day. Mister was now their primary care giver and it was to much for him to handle. I feel I let them down but I feel like I did them a service by putting them into a home where they will get more time then they did here. I feel very confused in a sense, but not regretful. I do feel lost with out Paulie's constant chatter and Peanuts too. I do however miss Paulie the most as my bond with him was so deep it was like saying good bye to a family member. I just needed to get this all off my chest... thanks for listening.

Cheryl

[jobo2mi]

Aww Cheryl Im sorry you are hurting. Even though it is the right thing, it still hurts a lot. I am sorry theres nothing that can make it better...........

[jujusaffiemom]

I am so sorry that you are feeling upset,but that is to be expected please do not hold it in feel free to vent here as much as needed we will all listen and try to help make it better.HUGS!!!!

[Cheekys mum]

I can only imagine your deep anguish Cheryl! Every fiber speaks of them....and there were so many
chapters and memories! I really feel for you Cheryl chapters we dont want to close. But the Love is there and you will always have that...they gave you so much Happiness! They sure were a gift werent they. I wish I was closer I would come and visit you and hug and hug you. One day I believe we will be reunited with all of the animals we ever loved in our lives! Your grieving is a natural thing..but time will in time start to heal you.
Your friend,
Janet x

[NCVon]

Sending big, big hugs, I know it hurts and it will take a while to adjust to not having the familiar bird noises around the house. I have been reading your blog especially about Paulie and what you have done with him amazes me he has come a long way and you have done a wonderful job with him. I promise I will do my best to carry it on.

[Majj]

I can imagine how your heart must be breaking .(HUGS)

[Movedonandhappy]

I'm sorry that your having such a rough time. I do understand where your coming from! Big hugs coming your way and I do hope you get feeling better soon!

[Way2Bizzy]

There sure are a lot of folks who love you and are praying for you Cheryl. Let the tears flow and allow yourself to grieve- that's the only path to beginning to healing the hurt.

Hugs,
Christy

[Skipper]

I'm sorry your heart feels so heavy right now Cheryl. Prayers and hugs to you. It takes a strong women to make the descions you have had to make.

[Paula0442]

I think Julie (Juliesjungle) is still hurting. It's not something that goes away easily. The good thing is that you know where to come when you're feeling blue. We're all here for you Cheryl.

[QuakerMom42]

Today Mister is keeping me busy, but only for part of the day then he has to head out of town. I have found myself near tears despite being busy. It is still very hard.

Hugs
Cheryl

[Uncle Zippy]

Having been through a re-home myself, I'm tempted to say I know how you feel, but I was never as bonded as your were to Paulie and Peanut.

I don't think there is anything wrong with shedding tears or being depressed about it Cheryl. It's part of the process. We're all here to support you in dealing with this.

Keep your chin up girl.

[GeorgiaOnMyMind]

The fact that you're upset only shows how much you really loved him. You did right, but let yourself be sad. It is sad. But it is also happy, and if you let yourself move through the sadness, eventually the happiness will be left.

*HUGS* I'm sending you lots of loving thoughts.

[Nancy and Bubba]

Hugs your way Cheryl - you did what was in your heart for the good of your babies and yourself. Be sad, but be glad they went to such a loving and caring home.

[Julies Jungle]

I think Julie (Juliesjungle) is still hurting. It's not something that goes away easily. The good thing is that you know where to come when you're feeling blue. We're all here for you Cheryl.

Yes it still hurts but it is a great comfort knowing that they went to wonderful homes. It also helps me cause Paula emails me pics and looking at Blue so happy makes my heart warm inside knowing he is loved and happy. No matter what it still pulls at the heart strings and Cheryl if ya ever need to talk just pm or email me. We can share a box of Puffs Plus over the computer if need be LOL.

[equineRtist]

OH MY Cheryl, I'd give anything right now for a magic wand that would heal holes in hearts. I'd wave that thing all over you!!! Since I don't have, and I'm not likely to EVER have one, all I can do is ask God to heal it as quickly as possible. Gotta gallop now and go do that!
Hugs,
Jo

[QuakerMom42]

It doesn't help that I have only had about 4 hours sleep in the past 72 hours, I am sure. Today, this afternoon was a little better as I slept an hour. God I need some sleep. Maybe tonight.

Thanks for all your support.

Cheryl Allen