[Siobhan]

We've had Jade almost five months now, and although she has improved -- she comes to us sometimes, and will sit on a shoulder and beg food when we're eating and likes to have us nearby talking to her and lets me clean her cage and her toys without objecting (though she insists on bossing the job ), she still will NOT let us touch her and bites us all the time.

She's clearly afraid of hands, though I can usually be quite close to her if I keep my hands out of sight, but last night, when I was talking to her, she suddenly struck (like a rattlesnake) and bit my lip. What's weird is, I can hand her a treat, even something as small as a Cheerio, and she takes it quite nicely without biting the hand that feeds her . She likes to sit on Clyde's cage, and if he's sitting there and I'm talking to him and petting and kissing him, she'll sidle up real close and clearly WANTS what he's getting, but if I try to touch her, CHOMP. And he's jealous and if she gets too close, he hisses at her. On her own cage, if I stand nearby to talk to her, she'll sidle up and try to grab whatever she can reach -- usually she pulls my hair or my shirt, but I have to ignore her or CHOMP.

She so clearly WANTS to be buddies but something makes her retreat at the last minute and, usually, bite instead of letting us pet her or even touch her. I've tried letting her take the lead instead of pushing her. Hubby has tried pushing her and just taking the bites, but she can bite HARD. She bled me three times yesterday (with me just standing there talking to her, not trying to touch her) and about the same number on him, when he tried to touch her. She LIKES us, I know she does, she loves attention and having someone hang out with her and it's sad to see how much she wants to be like Clyde, but can't quite bring herself to DO it. And the biting, I'm sure, is defensive. She's afraid and I don't know how to make her understand she doesn't have to be. And meanwhile, we have all these wounds!

Mind you, I have no intention of giving up. Even if she never lets us touch her or learns to sit on our hands and be snuggly, she's here to stay. I love her and this is her home. But for her sake, as well as ours, I'd like to figure out how to communicate and get past this barrier of her fear of us. I had hoped that Clyde's good example would rub off on her and in some ways, it does. She sees him getting loved on and sitting on us and that's what's brought her this far, but there's still something keeping her from taking that last step.

[Carrie~Anne]

It's hard when so much time has passed and there hasn't been a whole lot of improvement. I can feel your frustration.

Have you tried wrapping her up in a towel so only her head is showing and rubbing her head that way? Perhaps doing this for a little while (so long as she isn't stressed by the towel, and if she is, then you may have to teach her that the towel is okay, by slowly introducing the towel and rewarding her when she doesn't shy away), may help her overcome her hand phobia.

Also, I'm not sure I would let her up on your shoulder. It's just a personal preference of mine, but if I can't trust a bird not to bite me, they never go on my shoulder. Too easy for them to get some tender skin.

[Siobhan]

She's very well-behaved on a shoulder. She flies to the back of the couch (where we eat -- the budgies live on the dining room table! ) and then hops on my shoulder (sometimes Hubby's shoulder) and bobs her little head and leans forward until you give her a bite. If it's a big bite, she takes it back to her cage and eats it there. If it's something she really, really likes, she stays on the shoulder and eats it and then asks for more. Tonight I gave her piece of cookie (just a little one) and she hopped back to the back of the couch and ate it there, and then just hung out for a few minutes, walking back and forth between me and Hubby. If you have food, she doesn't bite or lunge at all. She wants the food. Like she doesn't have plenty to eat already! But feeding her my supper is a way to be close to her and friendly and one of the few times she comes to me willingly and is congenial, so I don't want to discourage that. Sometimes, rarely, she'll hop onto my shoulder or Hubby's from Clyde's cage and take a ride around the house, and she's very well-behaved then, too, without offering to bite. I take her into the bathroom and show her the pretty bird in the mirror and for a few minutes, it's almost like she's tame.

If we could get her to do stuff like that more often, I think she'd realize it's nice and not scary, but she won't often agree to it.

[Donella]

From what I read I think you posted your answer.... she'll hop onto my shoulder or Hubby's from Clyde's cage and take a ride around the house, and she's very well-behaved then, too, without offering to bite. I take her into the bathroom and show her the pretty bird in the mirror and for a few minutes, it's almost like she's tame. Her previous owner didn't handle her often, but she did tell me that as long as Jade was away from her cage she was able to handle her. Thing was Jade would fly back to her cage as soon as she could...choosing the safety of her cage over people. Is there anyway to get her out of sight of her cage for daily handling? Jade for sure has a trust issue and working slowly as you have the past several months is great....but it may be time to push it a little harder....get her away from the cage if you can...maybe to a bedroom where she can't easily get back to her cage. Without her cage within her view she may allow hands near her more willingly. Try some step ups and offering treats when she does a couple nice ones...I think you are right on the verge of breaking down Jades barrier. Don't give up!

[Siobhan]

The bedroom is the only room that we can close off -- the rest of the house is all open like one big room. I have tried taking her in there and it makes her very uncomfortable to be where she can't see her cage, though a few times when she's flown around and gotten herself in a pickle, like when she landed in the bathtub (there was no water in it), she did step up willingly and then scrambled to my shoulder as fast as she could.

I'd rather not force the issue because I want her to WANT to come to us, but you're probably right and a leeeetle bit of encouragement couldn't hurt. If I can get her on my shoulder and get her to stay there long enough to get the bedroom shut off so I can be alone with her in there, I'll give that a go.

[Way2Bizzy]

It takes longer with some birds than with others- Zack has been with me since August of last year and he still acts a lot like the way you're describing Jade. last night, for the very first time in the EIGHT months he's been here (not including the first few days of the honeymoon period), he actually let me scritch his head and neck without ducking away or getting nippy. Not only once, but twice- i thought I'd pee myself I was so excited
I tried a few times in the past doing the toweling and forcing the issue but decided it wasn't worth stressing him over it and that he'd come around in his own time... and apparently he's actually getting there.
So maybe Jade's the same way and next year you'll be telling us what a cuddly girl she is...

[Siobhan]

I do think that once she's past her fear or shyness or whatever it is, she's going to be a cuddle bug, otherwise she wouldn't sidle up to me the way she does, and she's always picking up one foot and then the other like she'd LIKE to step up (of course, if you offer a finger when she does that, you're liable to lose it! ). And she SO loves for us to hang out and talk to her, and scrambles out of her cage to get on her perch whenever we stop near her cage, and gets as close as she can.