I never dreamed (and always feared) that I'd find myself posting a thread in this section of the forum. Sadly, my worst fears came true today, and I must bear sad news.

This afternoon, at 4:25 p.m., I received a hysterical call at work from my girlfriend. She'd come home from work early, looking forward to an evening at home with me, Peanut, and our cat, Marble. When she unlocked the apartment door, she didn't hear Peanut call out in the way that he usually does. She walked into the apartment and peered into his cage, assuming that Peanut was asleep in his happy hut. Still, no Peanut. Rather, she found an empty cage with a broken door on the side -- one that we rarely use. She called out for Peanut several times, as he was fully flighted. She thought that he might have flown to perch on one of the high ceiling beams in the apartment.

And then it happened.

Laura found a few spots of blood on the carpet, and as she rounded the dining room table, she found a heap of green and blue feathers, including a fully intact wing.

Our best friend is gone.

My mother came over and helped me clean up. We collected all of the feathers in the carrier that Peanut used to enjoy riding in. We added a few of his most favorite toys -- chew toys, bells, and his favorite plastic container made by Glad, and brought him to my parents' house, where we buried the entire carrier and its contents. Then, we went through our "Good night" ritual one last time.

Truthfully, we're both complete and total wrecks. While we understand that Marble was simply following her feline instincts, it's not going to be easy to forgive her for what's happened. It's also not going to be easy to avoid blaming ourselves for allowing this to happen. We'd been so careful....

Peanut came into our lives for a reason. Being first-time bird owners, he taught us so very much. He loved us; he told us so! And we loved him too with all of our hearts. I only hope that as he soars freely in birdie heaven, he knows that we never meant for him to suffer in any way, that we loved him so dearly, that will miss him painfully, and that we'll absolutely never forget him or how he changed our lives.

He was just more than a year old. And he'd been in our home for just more than ten months. Who'da thunk that's all it'd take to hurt so bad.

To Peanut, wherever you are, my little buddy, I'm sorry... so very sorry. We love you. We'll miss you. And anytime you're up for singing a tune or playing a game of 'peek-a-boo,' you let me know. I'll be there with bells on. As Peanut used to say, "Buh-bye," little buddy. "I'll be right back, okay?"

To all of the friends that I've made through QuakerParrots.com, I thank you for giving me this space to grieve. Though I may or may not be around for some time, I do intend to bring another Quaker into my home someday. If I could, I'd run to the breeder and buy another one tomorrow. But I can't. First, I need to decide what's going to happen to the cat. And if I were to welcome a new bird into my home this soon, I feel like I'd be dishonoring Peanut in some way.

Thanks again for your support. Be well.

Dave, I am so very sorry to be reading this. I can only imagine the shock and pain you and your g/f are in. Please know you have my deepest sympathies.

I am so sorry you have to go through this. My thoughts and prayers are with you.

I dont believe you would be dishonoring Peanut. Infact they say that in human grieveing the person who remarrys quickly is the person who had the best experience with marraige. Well the same could be said for grieving and not replacing but getting another fid. If peanut had been a terrible experience. You would not be willing to try again soon. I truly believe that it is an honor to our beloved past pets to be willing to jump back in. They showed us what unconditional love really is. So when you are ready do not feel peanut will mind. He would be the first to say "Im glad you were please with your experience with me."

I am so sorry to here of your news, Take care.

I am so sorry for your loss. I am shedding tears right now for you and Peanut. I do not know what I would do if I lost Morgan. God bless to you.

Dave, i have no words right now...I am just so so very sorry of all this...I'm teary eyed as I write this so can't think....My thoughts are with you...Please don't stay away too long......

I cried when I read your story. It is with deep sadness I say I am sorry! I hope one day you will find it in your heart to again bring a parrot home to be loved, and love you in return. HUGS

I can barely type because of my tears... I am so sorry this happened to your family. I know that the next few days will be difficult ones - you and your girlfriend will be in my prayers. Sending you hugs - Mary and Petey

Dave,

My heart goes out to you and your girlfriend. I am truly sorry..................

I am so sorry for your loss. That is one of my worst nightmares. I am so sorry you have to go throught this.

I too am in tears right now for both of you and esepecially Peanut.
I understand the grieving you are going through with losing someone so dear and beautiful to you. I lost two beloved pets within a couple of months of each other and though the pain dulls my heart still weeps when I think of them or look at pictures.

But there will come a day when you will be ready to bring another friend into your heart and the crazy as this may sound...I was watching animal planet when an animal pysicic came on and she said that when you lose a beloved pet quite often they will come back to you within a new pet. I know it sounds crazy but I believe it to be true because when I lost my Peekingnese "C.K." it took me a while but I found another "Suki" who is so much like my C.K. personality wise it is scarey and Suki was born on xmas day and that xmas day was very hard for me because I was still mourning the loss of C.K. so I consider Suki to be my little miracle.

I truly believe that you will find your miracle Peanut again some day!
In the meantime....I send lots of((((((((((((HUGS))))))))))))) Your way!

Oh My God, Dave I am so very very sorry. Poor sweet Peanut.

OMgosh Dave I am so so sorry, I too am having a hard time typing with all the tears just know that you your GF and Peanut are in my thoughts and prayers..(((Huggs))

I'm so sorry you've lost Peanut. We'll keep you and your girlfriend in our thoughts and prayers.

I am so sorry for your loss - it's also my worst fear but don't blame your kitty, as instinct is sometimes very strong. Hugs to you and your GF - my condolances to both.

I am so sorry for your loss. (((HUGS)))

So very, very sorry!!!

I lost my 'keet when I was a kid to the new kitten and it was really hard. A rescued 'tiel now has her cage and is happily living with my grandmother.

Time helps all wounds and I hope your time is in warp speed.

Oh Dave, I've been where you were.... in fact it will be a year ago next month that we lost Shrek to the dogs. I understand EVERYTHING you are feeling, but am glad to hear that you will get another fid, because it does help. And it's not like dishonoring Peanut - more like saying you loved him so much, you just can't live without a wonderful fid in your life. It will take time to get over the guilt and it will take time to figure out the living situation and forgive Marble.

I will be thinking of you over the next few weeks as you grieve your friend and we prepare to miss our Shrek for 1 year.

Such a sad thing...I am very sorry that you and your girlfriend have to go through this.But as the others said...its really not the cats fault sometimes instinct to chase and hunt are just too great for some animals.
Losing an animal that is as much a part of the family as their humun counter-parts is always hard...but I agree with the others..another fid would not be dis-hononering peanut..it would just be filling a void left behind by your loss.

I'm SO sorry. I know nothing I can say will help. You were in fact a good parent to Peanut and he will never be forgotten.

Oh, I'm so sorry. That's heartbreaking.

My mom's mom died when she 14. Before she did, she must have had a premonition, because she took my mom aside and told her that if she died and my mom's dad wanted to remarry, she should take it as a compliment to her. It would mean that he loved being married to her so much he wanted to try it again. I think the same rule applies to pets, though you'll certainly need some time to begin healing from the loss of Peanut.

You're in my and my birds thoughts. *hug*

Oh Dave .. I am so deeply sorry for your loss. So very sorry ...

Dave, I am so sorry Words simply cannot express how sorry I am. You and Peanut are in my thoughts and prayers.

Dave,

I am so saddened to read your post...What a horrible horrible thing for you and Laura to go through. I am so so sorry!

Peanut knew you loved him. What happened was a terrible accident and I sincerely hope that you and Laura can come to terms with it. As a cat lover and guardian myself (as you know!), I also truly hope you can forgive Marble and remember - as you said - that she was just doing what cats do. It's only natural for her to hunt...please remember that and also know that your story has served to remind ALL of us with cats - myself included - that no matter how much we want our cats and birds co-existing peacefully, it's not natural for them to do so. It's a real reminder for me not to get complacent with the guys.

Rest is peace little friend Peanut. Many people are thinking of you, and your Dad and Mom will always love you and never forget you!

I'm a little embarrassed to admit that all of your responses reduced me to a blubbering fool.

Thank you, everyone, for all of your support, sympathy, understanding, thoughts, prayers, and private messages. I am completely stunned by the outpouring of kindness that's been shown for us. This is an amazing place; I'm so glad that you're all here.

Truthfully, the last twenty-four hours were excruciating. Every picture that I see, every downy feather that I find, every part of my now quiet home and empty routine reminds me of Peanut and how much I miss him. I just can't bear it; it's always on my mind.

As for the cat, Marble, I haven't made any definite decisions that concern her future. I simply cannot knowingly risk the life of another bird by keeping Marble. But on the other hand, I've had Marble since she was born eleven years ago, so even as angry as I am with her, letting go of Marble won't be any easier than letting go of Peanut. The only decisions that I have made are these: a) I definitely want to bring another Quaker into my home as soon as Laura and I have completely come to terms with everything that's happened, and if I choose to find a new home for Marble, she must be given to someone that I know, who will care for her properly.

For now, though, all of Peanut's cages, toys, and supplies have been closed up in the spare bedroom... to be dealt with at a later time... when we're ready. And for now, Marble is still here so that we may think this through, one step at a time, and make the right decisions.

My family and neighboring apartment dwellers have also been very sympathetic and supportive. At this very moment, when it still seems like my world is crashing down around me, I can't find enough words to thank you all for everything. Your input, your stories, your clear points of view... they all help us to cope, and they will all help us to find our way through this horror.

Many thanks again....

Oh Dave, I am so heartbroken for you and your girlfriend. You mustn't blame yourself, and I am sure Peanut doesn't hold anything against you. I am so sorry you lost your little buddy and I hope your pain grows less with each passing day. We are here if you need to vent and let out your sorrow, and of course we'll be here when you finally decide to adopt a new quaker into your life. ((((Hugs)))

My Blessings to you both Dave....We are hear if you need us....Thinking of you and Laura....

I am so very sorry this has happened. My thoughts are with you and your girlfriend. I am fairly new to this forum but in the short time I have been here, I have found there are so many wonderful people. I am in tears reading all the responses to your post. I am sure when the time is right, you will bring another fid into your home, and I am sure Peanut knew you guys loved him very much. Take care.

What a horrible horrible thing for Laura to come home to, and one of my worsed dreads too as I have two cats and despite my best care they are two sly cats. I am very very very sorry for you all xxx

OMGOsh Dave, I'm so so sorry. It's hard to type as I sit here in tears. Please know you, Laura, and lil Peanut are in my thoughts and prayers always. (((HUGS)))

So so so very sorry for you.

Try not to be too hard or yourself, or kitty.

And know that you are in my good thoughts.

Summer & Fezzik

Dave, I'm so sorry.

Oh Dave. You and Peanut have been such an integral part of this forum. We are all diminished by your loss. Every bird has his or her own personality and I always looked forward to a good Peanut story.
So sorry you had to go through this.
Cats, you can NEVER be too careful. And even then there is never a guarantee.
Such a horrible shame.

Thank you again, to everyone, for all of your support and encouragement. These last two days have been brutal, for sure, but the worst of it definitely came yesterday evening.

I found another small spot of blood in the corner of the dining room where we found all of Peanut's feathers. And I completely lost it. For much of the night, regaining composure was not an option. I did, however, manage to clean up the remaining blood (and searched high and low throughout the apartment for any more surprises).

Maybe the lack of sleep, or the good, solid release of sadness and frustration helped. Or maybe I'm just numb. But today didn't seem as terrible as yesterday had been. (And then I was upset because I hadn't been upset all day... if that makes any sense!) Don't get me wrong: I still think of him every moment that I'm awake, and probably some that I'm not as well. The sadness just seemed to be a little bit more bearable today. In fact....

We talked with Peanut's vet and vet techs this evening. They assured us that Peanut was very lucky to have two caring people in his life, such as ourselves. They said that so many people adopt birds without knowing the full extent of their proper care. And then, the birds essentially turn into a piece of furniture. They said that in Peanut's case, he had two very caring and loving caretakers, despite the tragic accident that happened in the end. They said that they would love to see us adopt another bird, so we explained that we would love to run out and adopt another Quaker right away. We asked how long they'd wait before doing so if they were in our shoes. They both responded in the same way that many of you did. They said that whenever one of their pets has passed away due to illness or old age, they've adopted another right away... not to replace their old pet, but to fill the void that was left behind.

So, Laura and I have spoken with the breeder from whom we adopted Peanut... and we told him that we'd like to adopt a blue Quaker... possibly as soon as next week.

We still have to decide what's going to happen to Marble, whether she's going to stay or go. If she goes, the new Quaker will be safe, without worry. If she stays, we will have to take extreme precautions to be sure that any part of the cage cannot be broken while we're away from home. We're excited about this possibility, and we hope that Peanut -- wherever he is -- will approve of us adopting another so quickly. Our experience with him was so good, we just simply can't go without.

Oh Dave this makes my heart sing with joy....So glad you spoke with the vet about this also...I think that helped a lot from what you wrote....



When you feel like it Dave, I have tried to understand how in all the 10 months you had Peanut that Marble never bothered the cage until now...Do you have any idea what prompted this behaviour from Marble...I'm just trying to understand...Thanks...



We'll be waiting to hear about your quaker baby....

Dave

I can't find the words to say to you. Just know that my prayers and thoughts are with you and yours at this time!! Peanut was a Blessed little baby for having you all in his life and you know you all were Blessed because of Peanut. I believe in my heart that Peanut would be very Happy for his wonderful parronts to have a new companion in their life. Thats just how all Fids are!!!!!!!!! We humans could and should learn from all those wonderful little critters. I learned SO MUCH from my Little Pete!!!

Always,

I agree. It's the same thing that we heard from a lot of different people, including several here at QuakerParrots.com. But for some reason, coming from the vet and his techs, it just seemed to hit closer to home.

When we initially got Peanut, he was isolated in our bedroom in a small cage, which sat on our dresser by the window. For a long time, when we left the apartment, we'd close the bedroom door so that we knew he'd be safe from harm. Then, when Marble didn't seem to be interested in Peanut or his cage so much, we started leaving the bedroom door open.

When we moved him into his big (daytime) cage in the living room, we realized that the cage itself sat closer to the floor. Only once in the first few days that Peanut was in his new cage, we saw Marble try to reach through the cage bars to swat at Peanut. The bar spacing is 5/8", so she couldn't get her paw in there too far... but it was enough that Peanut ran to her foot and bit it! From that point forward, she never paid him any attention. Even when he was fully flighted and flew around the apartment. He'd sit at the table with me, eating lunch or dinner, and Marble couldn't be bothered.

Peanut must have jostled the retaining screw that held that side door on his big, daytime cage. When the door fell into a crooked position, it must have been just enough that he could open the door from the inside to escape from his cage. Wherever he flew to, Marble must have either happened to be there, or because we weren't there to supervise, she felt that she had an opportunity. And she took it. I still don't think that she bothered the cage to catch Peanut, as the retaining screw on the broken door had been pulled out from inside the cage. Marble couldn't have possibly done that.

Marble was, at one time, an outdoor cat. As a result, her hunting instinct is well-tuned. But because she had never exhibited any real interest in Peanut for many months, we never dreamed that she would do something like this if Peanut were to escape.

Thus, if Marble stays here, and we do end up bringing a new Quaker baby into the apartment, it will be secluded again, in Peanut's original small cage, in our bedroom... just like Peanut was. Eventually, after we've given Peanut's big cage another very careful review for any more loose nuts or bolts, we'll move the bird into the big cage. BUT... we're going to install a secondary latch on each cage door to prevent this unforgivable tragedy from repeating itself.

It's that part that still eats me up inside... feeling as though I'm wholly responsible for Peanut's death. I assembled his cage. I put him in that cage on Monday morning when I left for work. I should have seen the door off-kilter. I pray that he died right away and didn't have to suffer through whatever Marble did to him. I hope that he doesn't blame me, and I hope he understands that I never wanted this for him. Furthermore, I hope that he understands why we're interested in bringing a new Quaker into our home. He made our lives so enjoyable while he was here, and he taught us so very much. We can't (and won't) ever replace him, but we now can't live without the companionship of a good feathered friend.

Don't forget the pictures! When it happens, be it next week, next month, or next year, we'll be sure to let everyone know!

Not sure how large your cage or room are but if you keep your fid out most of the time when you are home I would consider putting the larger cage in the bedroom - so the door is closed when you are not home and the smaller one in the living room.
That is actually how mine is set up during the winter when I am not home as much. I have the larger cage in the living room with us now because I am home more (I work at a school) and when I have things to do Tiki can still hang with us in his cage and not worry about my cats. (I have 3)

Don't blame yourself - that door may not have been off kilter at all when you left - quakers are very mechanical and he could have done it all himself.

I put my cages together too and as an added precaution I used zip ties any where 2 pieces come together - especially since a lot of these cages tend to just "snap" together.

And call me crazy but because my love bird cages are lighter than my others and they are the only ones my cats would have a chance of knocking over - I put a couple of bricks on the bottom of the cages - under the grate - I cover them with the newspaper. It gives them enough weight that I don't think my german shepherd could knock them over.


Peanut will be happy to know that he was such a great fid that you don't want to be without one in your life. You didn't let him down at all - it was just a very tragic accident.
(I have been dealing with something similar -except it was my dad's bird - I was bird sitting - and a vet's mistake after the cat accident that led to his death)
You never knowingly put him in harm.
Sorry to ramble - Take care and keep us posted on any new little ones!

Dave, I want to say this here and now....You said that this is the part that eats you up inside (the latch on cage door)....I think you have whipped yourself enough and you have to believe that what happened could not be helped because of the circumstances....That little word "if" is a mighty big word sometime....

I felt the same way you do now when my mother died several years ago....She was a heart patient, 58 years old and because she wasn't feeling well that day, we called the doctor and she was talking with him and in just the wink of an eye, she dropped the phone....Well my father, my son and myself were in the room with her when this happened...I didn't know anything about CPR but I tried and to this day I often say if I had known how to administer CPR, I may could have helped save my mother's life. But it wasn't supposed to be...I have tried very diligently to believe that..



So what I am saying, please don't beat up on yourself....Try to accept what happened as a lesson maybe to a lot of other people with animals but sorry it was at the expense of Peanut's life....

My prayers are with you and Laura...And just know that Peanut would want you all to be happy again with a new feathered friend...

Once again, I'd like to thank everyone who has offered support, thoughts, prayers, hugs, reassurance, personal stories, and everything else. I'm relieved to say that I am feeling quite a bit better today, and there are a few reasons for this sudden improvement.

First and foremost, I've spent a lot of time in thought during the last three days: considering all that has been said in this thread, all of the private messages, and all of my conversations with others. While I don't fully agree that this tragic accident was unforeseeable, I do agree that it was out of my immediate control. And sadly, I cannot change what's already happened.

Second, I truly believe that Peanut was brought into our lives to turn us into bird lovers, as well as to teach us how to properly care for a Quaker as first-time bird owners. He taught us so very much, and he showed us the very real unconditional love of a happy, healthy pet. In my mind, everything in life is according to God's plan. Peanut's purpose in this life was evidentally fulfilled, and this must all be part of God's master plan, confusing and challenging as it has been.

Third, we will soon be the proud parronts of a baby blue Quaker. I spoke with our breeder again today, and he has a 4-week-old blue Quaker that he is holding for us. He is going to finish hand-feeding it for us, wean it, and then we will be able to bring it home. I stood over Peanut's grave tonight and explained all of this to him, reassuring him that we're not replacing him, but rather, filling the emptiness that he left behind. The unusual silence in our home is a constant reminder of our pain and sorrow and loss. So, we are excited to be bringing another Quaker into our home to love and cherish, using all of the knowledge that Peanut instilled in us.

Fourth, while I am not fully decided, I have given more thought to Marble's future in my home. While I am still very angry with her, I am trying to forgive her for her actions. She was simply doing exactly what she was programmed to do, and I can't deny the fact that Marble has been a prominent figure in my life for eleven years. As a result, I am leaning more toward keeping her.

With that said, we will be taking some major steps to ensure the safety of our new Quaker. We will be adding an extra latch to the main door of the large daytime cage. And we will be securing each of the five side doors with plastic ties to hold them in place in the event of another design failure.

So, we are moving forward, little by little. I will try to take some pictures of our new blue baby soon, and I will keep everyone posted as we gather our gumption to press onward.

Thank you, again, to everyone for being such a wonderful source of information, advice, and support.

Dave, I'm very happy to see this post tonight. I'm glad to see you moving forward and accepting what has happened. (((HUGS)))

Dave - I'm so glad you are getting a new baby and I'm sure Peanut understands how he brought you to love these little guys. I hope you decide to keep Marble, 11 years is quite a bond and would probably hurt her more then you think to get rid of her. Good luck - my prayers are with you and you new little one. A blue - I WANT ONE TOOO

It sounds like you've really done some soul searching and I'm glad to see that you're feeling better. I'm sure that Peanut is glad too.

Keeping you and your family in my thoughts!

I'm really sorry, too, Dave. I can feel for all the emotions you and your girlfriend are going through. Two years ago we lost my new husband's pet crow, Boogs, to an owl. Bill cared for that bird every single day for 6 years because she couldn't fly. She could climb, though, and was up in her pine tree on Easter AM. We heard her call for breakfast, went out to feed her, and found out in those few minutes in between, an owl had taken most of her. We know it probably had babies to feed, and was following instinct, but it didn't make it any easier. We have multiple pets, so I know you must have mixed feelings about your cat right now.
I'm replying to Michelle's post because I truly believe this about pets coming back, too. I had two cats that I lost very close to each other. Then one day soon after, a stray adopted me. It was so unusual how it appeared and how it had an amazing blend of the 2 previous cats' personalities.
(I just read further, and learned that you are getting a new baby bird! I, too, never dreamed I'd be a bird lover until Boogs and the Quakers came into our lives. I'm sad for your loss, but I'm happy about this news.)

Sorry to hear of your loss... my heart goes out to you both.

So sorry for your loss of Peanut.

I am so glad that you have decided to move forward and not remain in the unchangable past. Peanut taught you a great lesson of loving and you will carry it on to the next level with the baby. God Bless and Good Luck

Dave, I'm glad to hear you're staying in the Quaker fold.

I'm sure Peanut would approve.

Thanks again, everyone. I believe that Laura and I are coming to accept Peanut's passing, as we are finding each day just a bit easier than the last. Still, the deafening silence and emptiness in our home is a constant reminder of the good pet and friend that we lost. As I've said before, we'll never forget everything that he did for us.

As I've also mentioned before, we spoke with the dealer from whom we bought Peanut nearly one year ago. We told him that we would like to adopt a baby blue Quaker as soon as possible. He has one that is going on five weeks of age this week, and we'll be able to bring it home as soon as it is eating on its own. (I'm not sure when birds usually wean themselves to solid food, but I'd guess that it'll be another couple of weeks.) I'm hoping to get some free time this week to take a couple of pictures.

In the meantime, we'll be going through Peanut's cages... sanitizing them with vinegar and water, replacing the toys and perches, and making absolutely sure that all of the nuts and bolts are secure so that this tragedy will not happen again.

As for Marble, the offender, I have decided to keep her. I pray that none of you thinks less of me for bringing another bird into my home even with full knowledge of Marble's capabilities. My decision, though, was based upon several factors. First, Marble has been in my home since birth. While she has moved with me a few times, I am the only caretaker that she has ever known in her eleven years. It would be very stressful, maybe even traumatic, to re-home her after all of this time. Second, while I am still upset by everything that happened one week ago today, I cannot blame her for her actions. She is, after all, a cat. Her strongest instinct is to hunt and kill. Sadly, seeing Peanut fluttering around the apartment sparked her interest. Third, she is getting along in years. I would want her to go to a good home -- the home of someone that I know well. And no one that I know is willing to take in an aging cat that has special dietary needs. And finally, I still love Marble too. Hurt, as I am, she was my first pet. She has been a good friend to me over the years as well, and letting go of Marble would not be any easier than letting go of Peanut proved to be.

So, we'll try to have both once again. We'll be rearranging some things so that the new bird can be secluded in our bedroom until he/she gets used to the new surroundings. After a month or two, we'll slowly introduce to him/her to the big cage in the living room, which by then, will have secondary latches on each door. We're looking forward to the new birdie's arrival; we'll be sure to post an introduction in the forum when it becomes official.

I'd like to thank everyone from the bottom of my heart. Everything that you said, and the things that some of you did -- it was all so kind. This is such a great place, and I'm so glad that I had this opportunity to meet all of you. Be well, and I will talk to you soon.