Hi all,

I need some feedback to a question that has been going back and forth between my hubby, myself and my friend.

As you all know, I recently lost my QP Marley. I am planning on getting a new baby (just recently hatched) and planning to pick him up July 1st if he is in the hatchlings.

To make a long story short, my friend says that I should not get the baby QP. I don't need another bird since I have two left.
Hubby says I am too old and it would not be fair to the baby because he most likely will outlive me. (Will have to end up living with my son..who just recently lost his QP of 35 years).
I really want him, but these were all good points. Gosh, I already named him Skipper as all of you know. I was so excited about getting him. Now I am not so sure.

I have until the end June to decide what to do. I am wrestling with this and I want to be fair to the baby bird, but I am selfish and want him also. I am 60 years old now (very young 60 and refuse to grow up!) and have 20 good years left I guess.

What would some of you do in this situation?

I can't decide what I should do now.

Joni

Here is my logic on it........
My mother was supposed to be in menopause when she found out she was pregnant with me. All her other children were grown up and having babies of their own. She could of terminated the pregnancy but was so elated over the fact of having yet another child (she was suffering from empty nest syndrome to begin with) that she opted to continue with the pregnancy knowing all the risks.
My mom btw was 77 when I graduated from high school.
Yes I had older parents but the best childhood ever. They were relaxed, experienced, financially secure with an already proven sound marriage.
Now in re to bird terms the same thing can apply. You are relaxed, experienced, financially secure and have alot to offer skipper in life. Chances are your fid will help keep you young and you will live a long happy life.
There are no guarantees no matter what age a person is. My quakers previous owner fought a battle with a terminal illness and lost his battle at the age of 29.
You also have a plan in place in re to if something horrible were to happen to you that your son would take care of the bird. This is good planning. I had estate planning done for my birds too. Especially since cockatoos generally live a long time.
Now given I am not in a position to make a decision for you and I am just throwing out food for thought as you ponder what to do. I always say if it feels right do it as well as go with the flow of life to see where it takes you.
Hugs
IMPy

Thanks...you made some valid points. I know that this is my decision and Charlie (hubby) will love the baby, no worries there.

Sometimes you wonder if you are doing the right thing after losing a close fid to get another so soon. I DO want him and will love him dearly, I just want to be fair to him. I have no plans of leaving this earth...if I can help it...I beat breast cancer (only one in my family who did) and I plan on cruising again when we get another boat...with my fids of course.

Thanks for some good thoughts...

Joni

From one Joni to another ...

I agree with Impy on her very valid points. As long as you have a succession plan in place for your fids (and it sounds as if you do with your son, especially since he is experienced with Q's), and are able to maintain the quality of life you want with your hubby and your fids ... go for it.

If, for one moment, you believe it is unfair to anyone (including yourself), then you need to soul search and make the determination about what is the best decision.

Just adding to the food for thought ...
~Hugs~

I think it would be fine especially as you have a son that loves birds who can take them on if you pass before they do.

That being said- you will almost certainly outlive an older rescue bird. There are so many birdies out there that are homeless though situations like the one you are contemplating or others that I personally would never buy a bird. My opinion, or course, but hey- if you are thinking about such consequences, why not go completely around and help out a bird that is already in it? There are so many Quakers in rescues! Some need a little (or a lot) of work- but Sylvia was a spit-fire coming in and now she's a doll- couldn't ask for a better bird plus I get to skip the 'terrible twos'! And as Impy said- you have a good solid financial base, so it wouldn't be a problem for you to take in even a bird with special medical conditions, etc. I would encourage you to at least foster, if not adopt, a homeless parrot. Very rewarding! And now you can really get into it and devote a lot of time, eh?

Well I really can't devote a lot of time because I work as a 3d animation cgi artist and designer from home (and on my former boat), but I will think things very carefully on my way to Key West to visit friends (my former home) and I was due to pick him up on my way home in July.

A lot to think about.
Thanks,
Joni

I agree with what the others said. My mother is 75 and I think if she wasn't so afraid of birds that it would be the ideal pet for her. Obviously your son knows how to take care of birds, as his lived a very long time. I say go for it, you are definitely not on your death bed. Science is saying that our 60's today are the 40's of the past. It is also proven that people with pets live longer.

I never did understand the difference between getting a bird from a rescue and from a breeder. Either way, bottom line is BOTH birds need a home. And let's face it, rescues aren't exactly putting birds to sleep like other animal shelters.

Anyways, if you want a baby, I say go for the baby. Age shouldn't be an issue. While some QPs may live to 35, most of them don't. Are you being selfish? I certainly don't think so. At 60, I would hardly consider you 'old'.

all good valid points and thanks Carrie Anne for saying 60 is not old
Good luck with your decision, as it can only be yours and your husbands, but we all know how much you love and miss Marley - what a wonderful gift to give another baby - your love.

Joni I am a firm believer in everything coming to us for a reason as well as us being given stuff because we can handle it. I suspect this is the case with skipper too. Not that I am trying to talk you into anything of course. I just lost one of my fids thru the night. My heart is bleeding but I know that if given the chance to do it all over again I would because the joy he gave me while he was alive was worth more than all the gold on the planet.
I think you and your hubby will decide what is right for you too. You are a survivor afterall and dont fear the open seas of life.
hugs

Thanks everyone:

I already have plans for Skipper..he is a gift to me.
I was planning on a budget of $500 to set up a great cage and many toys, treats, etc..with more toys for my other two fids.

I love all animals and missed my calling...I should have been a trainer or a vet.

Anyway..thanks. I can always count on you all for help now and again. I did send pictures of the hatchlings...and I really do want Skipper.

Thanks again for your imput. (By the way, my friend is the one who told me that Marley was just a bird...get over it, when I was so upset after losing her).

Bill, my son, had two birds. The QP actually belonged to his girlfriend..now wife when they first married. She caught him wild and didn't know what to do with him. Bill worked with him for years and he became his bird..lived to be a grumpy old man ..never caged except for sleeping. Bill built him an elaborate tree..play gym. It was very cool and his QP loved it. He just didn't have a lot of toys, but he didn't seem to like many toys. He was happiest in his little "tree"

Thanks,
Joni

I say go for it...I would just include your son and grand kids if there are any in this new little guys life from the get go, so that he isn't a "stranger" when and if the time comes that he go live with your such. If it brings you pleasure, by all means go for it!

I agree that if it were a cockatoo, I'd have second thoughts...But a quaker...Go for it Joni girl... You never know you could live to be a 103...or more...

Take care...

We only live once........and since you have your Son, with experience, in place.........I would go for it. I am almost your age and I just got my green cheek a little over 2 yrs ago. I live for the moment and I so enjoy my FIDS

Okay...

You're all right..I am going for it!!!

Thanks for not making me feel too old..because I am actually a kid trapped in an old lady's body..LOL!!!!

I am getting Skipper, my friend Chris can go jump in the lake..hehehe! Hubby is fine with my decision..so I will go for it!!!

Thanks guys,
Joni

YaY! YaY! YaY!

Oops- didn't want to make anyone feel old- 60 is not! But in terms of parrot ownership I feel old and I'm only 22. So... It sounds like you have everything well set already for this little guy, so don't worry about it. Any birdie is lucky to have you as a mom.

As for the rescues, though- they don't euthanize, but when they are full, well- that's when we get birds living in garages in tiny cages with seed to eat or released 'to be free' or other even less pleasant things.

Plus, when I finally get that B&G when I'm in my 30's, would be nice to get one that is there, too, so that I don't have to estate plan as diligently... this assuming, of course, that I don't come to my senses first And additionally- so cheap in comparison- some volunteer time and vetting leads to $300 spent on Sylvia, 27x24 King's cage, 3lbs of quality pellets, playstand and 5lb bag of nuts... which she doesn't eat unless I shell them, first- see why I need that macaw?

I guess the "no-breeder" ban should be made more at the assembly line or 'bad' breeders than someone who's giving you a gift (ie- a 'good' breeder).

60 is the new 45 child! Go for it!
I am 46 myself and have made arrangements for a good home for Poppy if I should go before him, including my 401k funds.
That is all you can do... plan and be prepared. If it were a bird that lives 70 years, well that is another story. Chances are, it will all work out as it should.
To address the question "is it too soon"? well, only you can decide that. I myself have gone down that road with dogs. I felt an initial disappointment that my new puppy was really nothing like my old one, but that sure didn't impede my ability to fall in love all over again!
That is the only tough part.
Watching all of your posts throughout your loss, I am sure everyone would agree you have ample room in your heart and even a greater desire for a new baby.
Final word, IMO, GET THE BABY SKIPPER!!!!
Big hugs your way...

No worries..you didn't make me feel old. I doubt if I will ever really be old...like I said I am still a kid (trapped in an older body)..still look okay, no wrinkles LOL. That is the Italian skin I guess.

I appreciate your post!

Joni

getting a little off on this thread......Joni you are lucky that you have no wrinkles........I am 55, will be next week, I have few

Thanks...I am done..sorry about getting off the subject matter.

Joni

whoo hooo!!!!!
Dont listen to non bird loving friends...I think a we all need to wear buttons that announce 'its a bird thing you wouldnt understand'

That is happy news to my ears Joni....Hoop, Hoop, Hurray.......

And one thing I want to point out Joni.....For your friend to be point blank to say "it's just a bird" it would be hard for me to swallow, if you know what I mean......



So, we will be looking to hear more about Skipper.....If Skipper is in that hatching, it is meant for Joni to have a Skipper.... Go get him Joni when it's time....

I will! My hubby just said that he knew that I would end up getting Skipper and he wants him too....alls well that ends well...LOL I guess that I had a momentary lapse of reason...

I did tell my friend what I thought...if you get my drift!

Yay!!! I am getting my blue baby!

Joni

It sounds like your decision is made but I totally vote go for the baby. I firmly believe pets keep people young and active-- you have so much to offer a new fid! Just think of what a great life Skipper might miss out on if you pass him up. Something could happen to anyone tomorrow-- so live life today! (I absolutely adore the name Skipper, by the way.) You've got a bunch of time to enjoy a new baby and a support system set up for him too. Come home Skipper!

Hi Joni, I am 56 years old - Shah is just over 2 years. I didnt even give it a second thought when he picked me. I have spent most of my life afraid of making long term choices because of perceived consequences - as a result I have deprived myself of a lot of the enjoyment that life can bring me. If you should pass into spirit, then your son will take care of him. Enjoy your time with Skipper - I can guarantee he will enjoy his time with you. I absolutely adore Shah and can't imagine life without him.

Hi,

Thanks..actually I am planning on getting Skipper. Sometimes you have a tendency to listen to friends and get off track..I think that was what happened to me.

I feel differently about this today (and from now on). I may even have seafaring stories about Skipper. In fact I want to teach him how to sing "Blow the Man Down" and maybe a couple more sea shanties.

Thanks for your post.

Joni

You didn't mention you were getting a blue one, either. Very tricksy. I don't think many blues end up in rescues (or if they do, they don't stay long). I'm glad you told your friend what for. I hate it when people say 'only a ___'. Yeah, well, you're 'only on of my many other, pet-loving friends.'

Thanks for your post...I would have 100 birds if I could afford to.
Joni

this is way off the subject... but i just read that your former home was key west... so was my dads.. he grew up there... small world i guess..
as for getting another baby... the little guy will bring much joy... you should always do what makes you happy... if it feels right, go for it...

I just heard from Cheri.

Skipper is not in the clutch of babies, so far. I am a bit saddened and teary-eyed, after all this posting and not having my Skipper there. Oh well.
I will wait and see how it goes again. I am attaching pix. Split to blues and greens were born. My blue boy..not there so far.

She has one more and will let me know for sure if it is a blue....the baby is the last one. I will let you guys know the official outcome when I hear back from Cheri. She is waiting for pin feathers on the splits and the last baby is my last chance. She says it looks doubtful, so I can't get my hopes up yet.


Joni

Joni,
I will be 56 in July and feel about 45..I was the baby in the family and this helped me stay young at heart. When we got Gabby (CAG) 2 yrs ago, I knew that she would probably outlive me, but that didn't stop me..I have made arrangements if something were to happen to me and hubby together..IF something happened to me, then Gene would keep Gabby...and she would keep him straight with her sounding just like me...how many NEW women would enjoy hearing her say, "I love you, darling." in the former wife's voice???LOL!!! I have loved Gabby these 2 yrs and if I live to be 100, I will love her more and more every day....

Go for it....and I love the name Skipper...

Rebecca

Thanks Rebecca:

Right now, I am not sure that Skipper was even born. I will find out in a few days, but it doesn't look very good at this point.

Thanks for the post!
Joni

Joni, hang in there. I am not quite sure why you wanted a blue. I had my heart set on a sun conure and came home with a quaker. Sometimes the road we want to travel down isn't the one that appears in front of us. Keep your heart open. Skipper will appear - but maybe not in the form you were expecting.

Jan:

When I lost my QP Marley in March,, Cheri from Feathered Cuties "gave me" her first born blue baby....that is what we were looking for. Marley sailed with me for 16 years and was my best friend. When she passed..it was due to her bleeding to death and I could not get any vets to see her in my area. That post was a while back...the whole tale. She died in my arms and I was (still am) devistated.

I wanted a blue because Marley was green and I just can't have a green QP right now.

That is the reason for the blue boy.

Joni