Dear God: Why do humans smell the flowers, but seldom, if ever, smell each other?
Dear God: Wen we get to heaven, can we sit on your couch? Or is it still the same old story?
Dear God: Why are there cars named after the jaguar, the cougar, the mustang, the colt, the rabbit, but not ONE named for the dog? How often do you see a cougar riding around? We do love a nice ride! Would it be too much to rename the Crystler Eagle, The Crystler Beagle?
Dear God: If a dog barks his head off in the forest and no human hears him, is he still a bad dog?
Dear God: We dogs can understand verbal instructions, hand signals, whistles, beepers can ID scents, and follow frisbee flight patterns, What do humans understand?
Dear God: More meatballs and less spagehetti, please!
Dear God: Are there mailmen in heaven, if so, will I have to apologize?
Dear God: Let me give you a list of just some of the things I must remember to be a good dog
1. I will not eat the cats food before they eat it or after they throw it up.
2. I will not roll on dead seagulls, crabs, fish ect. just because I like the way they smell.
3. The litter box is not a cookie jar.
4. The sofa is "not" a face towel.
5. The garbage collector is not stealing our stuff.
6. I will not play tug-of-war with dad's underwer while he is on the toilette.
7. Sticking my nose in someone's crotch is an unacceptable way of saying hello.
8. I don't suddenly need to stand straight up while I'm under the coffee table.
9. I must shake the rainwater out of my fur before coming into the house, not after.
10. I will not come in from outside and immediately drag my butt.
11. I will not sit in the middle of the living room and lick my crotch.
12. The cat is not a squeaky toy, and when it makes that noise when we play, it's usually not a good thing!

PS. God, when I get to heaven may I have my testicles back!!