Yeah so I am woman of the house over here. My mother has been staying at my sis's since sunday to help her with the baby since she is recovering from Cesaren.

I had just been walking the Westie for a half hour to get her to poop and I come inside and Dad tells me that my sis wants me to call her.

So I call her and I said "You rang?"

She says "Yeah, can you do Nya today?" Meaning take care of her. Assuming she meant the scrub down of the cage I said very nicely "I thought I told you that I am no longer taking responsibility for her."

"Well, I can't do it" she says. Guess you can't clean cages when nursing or maybe it is becuase she is recovering from Cesarean.

I said to her "You got Mom, Claude (hubby), and Mike (friend) there. Ask one of them."

"Mike is not going want to do it."

Whatever.

"Well, you don't have to if you don't want to" she says.

I said "I scrubbed down that cage Sunday anyways"

Then I hear my mother mutter in the background. My sis reapeated what she said "Just change the paper, the cage is pretty clean."

Well, I agreed but I don't feel better. I thought someone would be changing the paper daily over there since there are are like four people at that house.

Well, this is my last time. I mean it this time. No more screwing with me.

My mother pissed me off though. Why couldn't she do it? It takes like a minute.

Want to say to my sis "******, take responsibility for your bird will you?"

I would never treat my girls that way! NEVER!

Sorry to hear this. It's kind of you to do it, but I know it must sting your nerves a bit. I really hope things work so that you can stop doing it soon and your sis steps up to the plate. Sigh.... family is so hard sometimes. Strangers would never do some of the things family seems so willing to sometimes. Sorry hon.

Thank you Renee

I know that it is hard but you need to stick to your guns. Next time you tell her no then mean it. I know it is easy coming from someone not in your shoes at the moment but if you want it to stop you need to say no and mean it. I am like you in a way. I always so no more but..... I have learned that you do have to stop it at some point though. At least for your own sanity.

If you do it this time they will know that you are just idle talk. Im telling ya that its gonna be just one more time,,one more time ,one more time. Better stick to your guns otherwise you are going to go through this same conversation over and over. Ending with you giving in and doing it. I know you gotta do what ya gotta do. I dont mean to hurt your feelings or anything. Just my opinion and i know it is easier said than done, especially since you have to live with your mom and she is obviously on your sisters side.

Sorry you keep being sucked in. Put your foot down girl!! It's the only way to make it stop. You've been a trooper for helping your sis out for all this time but now its time for someone else to start stepping up to the duty. Hope it all works out for ya and remember... be strong.

Jennifer I am sorry but this makes me furious! How ridiculous that you have to make a trip to "change the papers" when there are other people in the house that can do it!! Girl they are taking advantage of you and it is time to put your foot down and keep it there! Be strong and stick to your guns. Sorry, but that's JMHO!!

You need to stick to your guns. I can understand why your sister isn't up to cleaning the cage, but why your mom or her husband can't change the paper I don't get.

Jenn I am sorry your family is doing this to you...they KNOW you don't want to see the fid be neglected and you'll step up to it...makes me angry just to think of them using the little fid as a 'guilt-tripper' for you

There are FOUR people in that house and they can't change the paper in a cage ... which takes like, what? 30 seconds???? What the he&*&) is wrong with them?! They obviously don't want the bird ... let your sister know you can find a home for the fid (post it on here if she'll agree to let it go) and they won't have to worry about it ... and neither will you.

How other people treat their pets is one thing, everyone is different and what is ok for you, may not be ok for me, but to neglect the poor little thing if YOU don't come over and change the food and water is something else again.

I would see if she would agree to let it go ... she has a new baby (much-used excuse), it takes too much time (much-used excuse), is messy (MUE), its screaming will wake up the baby, whatever it takes to talk her out of it. If anyone in the family objects, tell them THEY can care for it, then.

I know, easier said than done, especially from an outsider, but it may be worth a try.

Good luck ... and stick to your guns on NOT doing their pet care for them!

I know its hard on you in many ways. For one you are dependant on your family to give you rides so you really cant burn the bridge too much. With that said you do have options and choices and maybe just explain to your mother that you dont think its fair that her husband (your sisters husband) can just refuse to do anything for his wife and expects everyone else do compensate for his lack of willingness. If you can talk to your mom in a non confrontational way perhaps you will make some headway and come to some reasonable arrangement.

good luck woman
hugs
IMPy

Well, I'd stick to my guns if I were you...You'll never get your point across if you keep allowing them to take advantage of you...And I'm really surprised that you dad doesn't baulk at it since he will have to drive you over there...

Are they going to have you come change the baby's diaper too...Oh wait...Your mom already is...

You are just enabling them to continue to walk all over you...

What it boils down to, to me is your self worth isn't where it needs to be and rather than make waves, you ALLOW them to do it to you, time and time again. It won't stop if you don't make it. If you want to have them quit treating you like Cinderella, you need to quit acting like Cinderella.

Sorry to be so blunt...But until you are willing to make a change, its not gonna change!

The big deal is you have to take trip when it literally takes about 1 minute 24 seconds.

Next time she says...

"Mike is not going want to do it." tell her well HE HAS TO.

Are you Cinderella? (sorry not meaning to be mean here)

Im sorry but your sister uses you...do that say HE HAS TO!

huggs,
Cheeky and Cherub also voted and said your sis hub has to do it!

I dont think its our decision to say who should do it. Her sis can decide who does it.

Well, we were invited here for dinner so it wasn't like I took a wasted trip. I got to see my niece and yada yada.

I am just really torn becuase I don't want to take care of the bird but don't want the bird to be neglected. I have been feeling depressed lately and this doesn't help. I can't stand her husband for many other reasons and frankly don't know whay she married him. Mike, the friend is more reliable and is always there visiting so he should do it.

I just can't do it any more becuase I don't want to and it just upsets me to think that I am this birds only chance of survival. A dirty cage causes sickness you know.

If there wasn't a living life involved it would make it easy to feel less guilty.

well, maybe you can hint at them, put several layers of paper down (like lots i'm saying , pretend its a cockatoo) then youcan just pull a lyer or two off every day or so...its eeven easier that way...
but i agree, she should have had a plan for this...i know when i have kids, i'm shipping my two off for a week or so to their auntie's house, she'll be glad to have them, and they'll have way more fun there..

The bird isn't going to die if you don't change the paper for a week. If she's not being fed fresh stuff (which IMO would be more concerning anyway) then the cage might even be able to go 2 weeks. More importantly- is the bird getting at least 1/2 hour of out of cage time a day? Fresh water? Food? Those I would concern myself with. If not, talk to your sister about seriously considering rehoming. Some people just aren't right for parrots. So long as she knows this and isn't going to get another, I think it would be good for her to surrender it to you or a rescue.

And you really do need to just say no. They are the jerks, but you need to tell them what's what. You aren't their maid. Seriously- even if you were you would be getting paid. Start charging them if they want you to do it.