Oh that is hilarious, but oh that poor poor kitty.
It's easy to give a KITTEN a bath. Hold him by the scruff of the neck, dip him in a bucket of warm water while he is asleep, soap him up and rinse him. When you turn the scruff loose he is clean, wakes up and never realizes what happened. Been there, done that many times.
A grown cat is a whole different animal.

I used to help my friend who's hubby had a vet clinic when she bathed cats. She had a neat gimic.
She had her hubby make her a wooden frame with a piece of window screen in it. She got the cat by the scruff, let him grab the screen with his claws and dipped cat, screen and all into the water.
I stood waaaay back and watched (cluck cluck cluck).
It worked every time. The cat hung his claws in the screen and they didn't come out until he took his claws back in, which was AFTER the fact and when he relaxed. I saw it many times, but I still never would try it. YES, cluck cluck cluck...call me chicken!