heck i wish it was better as well , ive got friends left out there ! thats a hard one to twist but ill try

granted , but now the ark youbuilt is useless

i wish that the things i liked had fewer calories!

granted ... but now you starve to death, even though your belly is full!!


I wish I didn't have to go work again!

Granted... you've been fired!

I wish I had a 5 week holiday starting tomorrow

Granted. But it'll pour with rain for the whole time.


I wish I could have an Aston Martin DB9 Volante.

granted but the motor is blown and its rusted out

i wish that my husband wsa home from the desert

granted but for the life of me I can think of anything twisted to put here so you just get your wish


I wish I could be a red head for a day

Granted, but you now look like Bozo the Clown. (I hope I'm not the only one that remembers him, lol)

I wish my daughter would quit having potty "accident on purposes".

granted ... but now it's your significant other who is doing it!

I wish it wasn't so hot!

granted , now you are snowd in and cant leave the house till it melts 5 weeks from now

i wish my MoJo would stop feeding thedogs !!! crazy dogs like his food more than theirs!

granted but mojo takes up ballroom dancing for dogs instead.



I wish I could sing

granted ... but now you are the backup singer for BOY CHAKIRA!!!



I wish I had A/C at my house! (It is soooooooooo HOT!!)

Granted, but it gets hooked up wrong so all the cold air gets blown outside.

I wish it would hurry up and be Friday so I can go out on the houseboat.

(that's gotta be an easy one )

granted .... but your boat SUNK!!!



I wish my ex son in law would drop off the face of the earth!! (I know, I know, bad karma, but *sigh* there's a reason for it!)

LOL Jobo that mental image is going to give me nightmares!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


Granted but the houseboat will be placed in the middle of the desert.



I wish I had more t shirts

granted ... but they are all 3 sizes too small and imprinted with a picture of your WORST ex-boyfriend's FACE!!


I wish I could go on another vacation soon!


IMPy, I thought you'd like that one!! He is FINALLY GONE off AGT!!

I need to do this one!

Granted but he is resettled on the earths butt



I wish I had more t shirts

Ok, I will send you some. lol

Granted, but they are way way too big.

I wish I was in Dixie (hooray-hooray) or somewhere other than work.

ooooooooooo YES jobo he is off now!!!!!!!!!! About time!!! You should of pm'd me to turn it on so I could gloat and celebrate right with you!!!



Granted but your holiday will have to be spent with me as your chaperone



I wish I could find a decent hair stylist

GRANTED! Girl, I know the best hair stylist in the world, and she said she would give you free weekly visits, but... she lives in Argentina. lolololol!

I wish the HR guy at my job would quit my company.

Granted!

Guess who just moved in next door to you.



I wish I could work from home.

granted now you can never leave the house at all tho

i wish i had gone to the grocery store instead of chilled with friends....

granted but all they had in stock was anchovies and limburger cheese

I wish that it wasn't storming outside right now.

Granted. When you wake up it is 20 below and a blizzard.

I wish I could take my birds to work with me.

granted but they end up making more than you do



I wish the humidity would go away

Granted, but it comes back twice as bad 3 seconds later.
(they probably would make more than me)

I wish I had a cabana boy to wait on me while I am laid up.

Granted – but he's gay.


I wish George the Pattie would stop plucking his own feathers.

granted , now he plucks the other birds!

(poor baby i wish he would stop plucking as well tho)

i wish the kids im babysitting would listen better!

Is nothing sacred!?



Granted, but their parents, upset by the changes you have wrought in their children, will never speak to you again and are going to sue!


I wish this game was more sensible.

Granted, but then it wouldn't be fun anymore.


I wish this kitty will get a clean bill of health at the vet today.

granted ... YAY! ... but now YOU are the one who is sick!


I wish I could go home early for once

Not before my trip this weekend.

Granted, but you go home to find someone drove their car through the front of your house.

I wish cucumbers didn't taste so good.

granted ... but now they taste like Harrison's pellets!


I wish I could go float on my floatee on the lake right now!!

Good! Then it could be some fun, My house will be clean and nicely decorated, and the meals will be FABULOUS!







Granted. Too bad the thunderstorms come so soon.



I wish I was on Oscar Myer weiner.

granted ... but you know what happens to Oscar Mayer weiners!! they get BIT!!!!


I wish i could take a nap after the pizza lunch/union meeting we had....

Granted but as soon as you fall asleep the phone starts ringing nonstop.

I wish Tommy would get his honey-do list done before this weekend.

granted but he will do them all in a pink track suit



I wish that I could find a good pair of gloves

lol @ the pink track suit!
Granted, but they look like the Arby's oven mitt.

I wish someone on this forum would win the lottery and fly us all to Hawaii for 2 weeks for a big party.

granted but this will be your special entertainment!!!




I wish I would get motivated to go out for the day.

^^^^^^^^^^^^^OMG i snorted the coke i was drinking when i saw that^^^^^^^^^^^^
*snort*

granted now you are so motivated you do my errands for the day as well so i could sleep onthe sofa allllllllllllll day (man that would be so nice)

i wish the base didnt have suck strict rules on pets ...... i want another bird!

granted - but now your neighbors all get into the exotic pet business - elephant,s aardvarks, giraffes, warthogs, gorillas, etc. In other words, you have a NOISY, SMELLY zoo all around you!!!

I wish I had a couple more days of weekend!!

[quote name='IMPduJour' date='Aug 4 2007, 10:17 AM' post='327493'] granted but this will be your special entertainment!!!


lolololololol! I can't stop laughing long enough to type- I'm crying here Impy! hahahaha



[quote name='jobo2mi' post='327625' date='Aug 4 2007, 07:24 PM'] granted - but now your neighbors all get into the exotic pet business - elephant,s aardvarks, giraffes, warthogs, gorillas, etc. In other words, you have a NOISY, SMELLY zoo all around you!!!

I wish I had a couple more days of weekend!! [/quote]



Granted, but those days can only be spent staring at that hula dancer that still has me laughing!



I wish my comebacks were as creative as Impy's!

granted but now all you can do is creative cmebacks on any thread and people start gettin iritated


i wish i could get MoJo to take a bath , hes terrified of anything but the mister!

granted ... but now you have to find a way to the Summer Olympics as Mojo has now qualified as a champion swimming quaker!!


I wish I could find someone to come clean my house for me.

Granted but in the process they clean out your house and move it to frankies moms place



I wish I had a cinnamon roll...............

granted ... but it is 24 inches around and all cinnamon, no sugar!

I wish i could go fishing instead of work tomorrow

granted but it will be marlin fishing (which is work eeeps)


LOL I wish I could be on top all night

sorry can't grant that one !! lol cuz I'll be fighting you for top spot!! lol



i wish i could get a pedicure!

Not much to say except you guys are HILARIOUS!!!...LOL

I wish I could find someone to come and help me UNPACK! and get rid of stuff!
Hubby looked thru a box today and took just about everything out of it, it was set to go to the Goodwill. I do not wonder why we have so much stuff. Now I will be doing things while he is out of town!

UNPACK?? granted ... but the people who unpack for you also give all your stuff away on Free Cycle!


I wish i could lose 50 lbs!!

I wish I could lose 30 lbs and I still wouldn't be perfect, but close