On Saturday, my horse Lucero died. I am so devastated, sometimes I think I can't handle it. We have been through a lot with her and the way she died just doesn't make sense. She turned a year old in March and she was just the most gorgeous horse ever. We planned on using her as a show horse because she had no imperfections. Shortly, after she turned a year old she came down with EPM, which is a disease that affects the central nervous system and we frankly, didn't think that she was going to make it. We bought her the treatment that the vet recommended (which cost $600/mo.), even though he said there was only a slim chance that she would make it and even if she did she would never be a horse that we could ride because the disease would affect her gait. All we wanted was for her to be okay, so we went ahead with the treatment which lasted three months. Ultimately, she pulled through and to everyones surprise she was as good as new, she lost a lot of weight but other than that she was great. Her gait wasn't altered, she was able to run and jump like any normal horse. We were just happy she was alive and we started working on putting the weight back on her.

The first week of July we went out of town for two days so we turned her out in the pasture so she would have plenty to eat and left her plenty of grain. When we came she had been bitten by a snake and her leg was three times it size. Again, the vet was not sure that she would make it, but guess what she pulled through she fine. She was just a tough girl, that wanted nothing more than to live. No matter what her chances were, she was tough. She was just my biggest pride and joy.

On Saturday, hubby and I went out to feed and turn out the horses. Hubby went to turn Lucero out but first he was going to de-worm her so he put her on a lead. We have never, ever had trouble with her leading but for some reason Saturday she decided to pull back with such force that she fell back and hit her head against the wall. I was inside the barn which is about 300ft from the stables and I heard him hollering, when I got there she was already gone. She died almost instantly, my husband said that as soon as she fell back he went to her side and she tried to lift her head and hollered at me, and then she took her last breath in his arms. When I heard him holler, there was just something about his tone, I just knew something terrible happened. I ran as fast as I could and when I got there she was already gone. I couldn't believe it! I just sobbed and screamed, I couldn't bear the pain. I still can't, it's too unbearable.

I just can't believe that after pulling through the EPM and the snake bite, she would die like this. I didn't even get to say good-bye. I had all these flashbacks of the wonderful times we spent together and I just couldn't believe she was gone. I can remember how excited I was the day she was born, how I suprised I was that morning when I went out to feed and there was this wobbly bundle joy wandering around the stall. I just can't believe she is gone, everytime I go out to the stables and her stall is empty I just sit in there and cry.

Tita I am so so very sorry for your loss! You have to be crushed. What a shame a cruel hand of fate. Im really sorry.

My X and I had horses for many years and it was hard when we lost a prized foal! You do your best and they sometimes died of scours. And we had a gorgeous filly die in a freak accident in the pasture and I was crushed!

Oh I know your pain Tita! You will never ever forget her. Thats whats Heavens about I believe one fine day we will see all the animals we ever loved!

awww. Tita. Im soo sorry for your loss of your horse. It must be very hard for you right now. *HUGS* Be strong ok.

I am so sorry for your loss. Lucero is in the pastures of heaven now and forever in your heart.
Hugs out to you
IMPy

I am so sorry that you've lost such a beautiful friend.

So sorry to read of your loss, it's never easy to lose a loved one and especially when its a pet. Try not to blame each other, as no one but God has control over such things. Just know that she's in the best hands ever now.

Sounds like she had some real tough trials from the get go and from my understanding, what happened could possibly side effects from the treatment of the EPM or re-occurrence.

My heart goes out to both you and your husband, its so sad...but hang in there, your pain will ease and you will have loving memories of your dear filly.

HUGS.

Sorry to hear your news... your story about a family loved pet truely touched my heart... its never easy to loose the ones we love most.. and even though she couldn't <talk> to you im sure she loved you too.
Hang in there as time will heal those wounds and keep her precious memory in your heart

So sorry for your loss Tita. It is so hard when they have ovecome so much and then something that seems so insignificant takes them. Big hugs to you and your family.

I am so sorry for your loss.

I am so sorry for your loss. I will pray tonight that the horse I was named after, Seabiscuit Marie (my mom's horse) will find Lucero and they can run the pastures together in heaven.

((hugs))

I'm sorry for your loss. I'll keep you in my thoughts!

Big Hugs!

Thanks guys, it comforts me to know that my online friends care so much. I have lost pets before that I have truly loved but for some reason this has been the hardest. I haven't been able to get out of bed, this is so tough.

One thing that comforts me is that she is in heaven now and she is no longer suffering, she has had a tough life and now she rests in peace. Last night, I was outside when suddenly a cool breeze blew, I felt like it was her. I know that might sound silly but I felt her in that breeze and that gave me some comfort.

Maybe, what has made this so hard is that hubby is so upset. He is always the tough one that pulls me through everything but this time he is just as upset as I am. It really hurts so see him grieve. Please keep us in your prayers so that the Lord may heal hearts and give us the strength to pull through.

Its not silly...I've felt certain things after one of my pets has passed and I too feel that its their way of letting us know that they're alright and in a better place.

So don't feel silly, if it helps comfort you, that's all that matters...


Give your hubby some extra hugs from all of us...I'm sure he's feeling extra bad cuz it happened when he was working with her...but remind him, it wasn't his fault....it was no one's fault. It was just her time to go...as sad as it is, and as hard as it is, at least she wasn't there by herself and she knew you all cared!

Big Hugs

oh my tita i am so sorry for your loss. but always remember the happy moments you've had together. I know it's very hard. Hugs to you

Oh I am so very sorry that you lost her.

I am so sorry for your pain..............I have been in this situation so many times.............I am so sorry....

I'm so sorry for your loss - I don't know what to say other then sending prayers and hugs your way. It's not easy and I hope each day gets a bit better. My condolances in your sorrow - I will light a candle for you and your husband and know that she is looking down from above and always with you.

I am sorry for your loss. You and your family are in my prayers.

I can feel your pain, and I'm so so sorry for the loss of your baby~! Horses are very special the way they talk to you, and how you can look into their eyes, and body language you know what they are saying to you. It's a very special bond~!

I'm so sorry~!

Tita, I am terribly sorry for your loss. You and your family are in my prayers. ~HUGS~

Tita,
As i read your post, my heart filled with sorrow. I have been there. I had an arabian that was my pride and joy ( which was a miracle because i wasnt that fond of arabians) and after battleing many life threatening problems, she died on me almost instantly in a freak accident. I laid in her stall for hours, unconsolable. I thought i would die from the heartbreak. I know that nothing any of us can say will totally take away the pain but i hope it helps to know that there are those of us who understand how deep and real the pain is and will do whatever it takes to hlep you get through it.
God bless you and remember, it will never be ok that she is gone, but as time goes on, the pain gets less and less. Take consolation that she has crossed the rainbow bridge and is running free and happy through the fields.
You will see her again, she is waiting patiently for the woman who showed her so much kindness, love and compassion when God sent her to this earth. i have no doubt that breeze you felt was her kiss against your cheek.

i'm SO sorry, Tita. sometimes i don't know what's worse. watching a loved one get sick and pass away or having it happen suddenly... that includes humans as well as animals.

neither one is easy and sometimes there is no answer to the question... WHY?

I really appreciate all your prayers. It has helped so much to pour my heart out to you. Usually, I find refuge in my hubby arms but this time I don't feel like I can go to him, he is so upset, that I hate to make it worse. Plus, he is working out of town this whole week.

Since, he is gone I have to feed the horses but it is so painful to walk into the stables and have to look at her empty stall. Today, after I fed the other horses I sat and cried in her stall until I fell asleep. It is the first time that I have actually slept since she passed. The kids come back tommorow from spending the summer with my parents, so I need to pull myself together.

In the past, I have avoided this part of the forum. It is just too hard to read about people losing their pets. I don't do well when it comes to reading about other people's heartache. Reading all of your words of encouragement has meant so much to me. thank you all for your prayers.

Your story just made my heartache and I have never been around horses. I just know it hurts dearly to loose someone you love. I will keep you and your husband in my prayers-as I know, this must be a very difficult time for you.

I am so sorry Tita. Hugs sent your way. It is never easy to lose a loved one ...

That is so terribly sad , I am so sorry that your going throught such pain , what a freak thing to have happen sending hugs from across the miles...

Oh Tita, I am so sorry. I know exactly how you feel. It hurts so badly and it will take a long time to get over it. I wish there was something we could do, but I know that all we can do is pray for ease of your pain and that will take some time.

EPM is a terrible thing to go through and so many times it comes back again and again.

Maybe this was God's way of keeping her from having it again and again and suffering, with it getting worse each time like it usually does. Only He knows and we will never even be able to guess the "why" of it. I'll ask extra blessings for you.

Jo2

You'll never get over losing a pet or a love one. You just learn to live with the pain,hurt, and tears. I'm so sorry once again for your loss.

I am so sorry for your loss. I just couldn't stop crying after reading your post. I use to have horses and I know how devistated you must be.
Keeping you and your baby in my prayers
tikileahsmom