My sweet dog Kelsey passed well over a year ago now but I just can't seem to get over it.
Kelsey came to us as a young puppy from a abused home. She was my favorite. I remember taking walks with her, riding my bike with her running ahead of me and playing chase with her. I would get down to her level (she was a shepheard/lab x) and put my arms around her and hug her, when I would stand I swear she was grinning...she was our only dog at the time. Shelby did not come til I was in my early 20's.
She was 17 years old when she passed. I was about 10 I belive when we got her.
We lived on a mountain and had tons of land for her to roam on. She had a good life.
I am now married and have been for almost five years when at the beginning of last year my mom had called me and told me the bad news. Kelsey had died, suddenly around 3am that morning. I couldn't breath. I just didn't have any reaction and was like what?!!! wait say that again..I never got to say goodbye. My mom said that she ended up giving her some baby tylonol because she didn't know what else to do..she said she collapsed on the bathroom floor and never got up, my mom was there with her when she went.
I just can't understand why I cannot say goodbye to her. In my heart it hurts so much. My mother has another dog and I cannot get attached to her no matter how hard I try. She is not Kelsey. and is nowhere near like her..We at this point cannot have a dog, I have two little boys who are active and I think can not respect a animal like a dog (i have a Quaker Parrot but he's just mine and likes noone else). I really do long for a dog not to replace Kelsey but to get that bond back I miss so much. I know that when my mom called me to tell me I remember saying "I really thought she had a year or more left in her".
I just want to know I'm not being overly sensetive? I just miss her more than anything and even my husband doesn't understand why I cannot say goodbye. His mother put down his old friend Bo a year ago. My husband cried some and then was fine. WHY am I still so upset! She was not my first dog that we had to say goodbye to. When I was 8 my mom had toput down her poodle patches he was about 18... I was upset but was ok rather quickly...
Does anyone else have this feeling like you just feel like she died yesterday? I just want to heal and remember her without feeling so bad.
Full Version: Will I Ever Stop Missing Her?
You have to say goodbye. It is hard I know. I lost my little dog last year in September, she was 14 yrs old. Yes I still think of her and I think of the night that she suddenly was going into convulsions (which she never did before) She was my Pal.......I Miss her, but I wouldn't of wanted her to suffer. If you believe in God, you will see your Doggy again......meanwhile, you need to enjoy your life. We did get another dog and we got a puppy. He is a Lab........he is so very different from our Lab we had that died in 2001. But we love him and he isn't going to replace any other dog.
Aww hun, I'm so sorry for the loss you are still feeling, you will never stop missing the bond you had with Kelsey, but for your sake, you have must move on, as hard as that is, and believe me I know just how hard that is, I lost my special boy 3 years ago and I still break my heart over him when I allow myself to think about him, but I did get the chance to say goodbye, maybe if you did something for Kelsey, plant a Rose bush or tree or something like that, and maybe a little plaque just with her name of it, say a prayer for her and then say goodbye, maybe then you can move on, but you must find a way of saying goodbye to her, before this destroys you and your family. If there's anything I can do please let me know 
This may or may not help, but I wish it would. At 17 years old, Kelsey probably did NOT have another year. Her years were equivalent to a 119 year old person and the quality of life was probably gone.
Your dog was not robbed of any time. If the dog was in pain, it needed to be allowed to go on and stop the suffering. It's hard to understand, but when an animal is suffering, people seem to want it to breathe and suffer a little longer just so it can live because they want it. I know you wouldn't want your dog to suffer because I can tell you loved her with all your heart. Think of this; when animals are suffering badly it's bad enough, but if you continue to allow the suffering, then it gets so bad, they wind up crying all night some night or screaming all night in pain. I know that would hurt you even worse. To go quietly before it gets that bad is a blessing.
We know that our pets just CAN'T live forever and we understand that we will most likely see them go some day. It leaves a ferocious hole in our hearts, but it's a natural part of life. We know we will lose people as well, but we have to do our grieving and then let it go and just cling to the memories forever. No one can ever take those away from us.
Now having said that, NO, no other dog can ever replace Kelsey. It's so sad when people takea puppy home and expect it to be a clone of their beloved pet. It doesn't happen and they are so disappointed, they toss it out, take it to a shelter or on to a new owner and the poor pup is suddenly unloved and wondering what it did wrong.
If you ever get a puppy, just take it home and tell it, "Hey, there are some big footprints in my heart. Those belong to Kelsey. Just do the best you can and know you are loved even if your little feet never fill them."
The hole in your heart will soon be filled with puppy breath, puppy hugs, loyalty and love that will bring back smiles and great memories of a former love.
It's amazing how fast the pain you feel in that hole in your heart begins to hurt less and less. tell Kelsey you got her a puppy and she will watch over it for you and smile to see you happy again. No, it will never be your Kelsey, but it will make you laugh and entertain you like you could never imagine.
You might go to a shelter and let a puppy that NEEDS you, choose you. I'll bet Kelsey would see that the right one gets you because she knows how much you'd love it!
Best wishes
Your dog was not robbed of any time. If the dog was in pain, it needed to be allowed to go on and stop the suffering. It's hard to understand, but when an animal is suffering, people seem to want it to breathe and suffer a little longer just so it can live because they want it. I know you wouldn't want your dog to suffer because I can tell you loved her with all your heart. Think of this; when animals are suffering badly it's bad enough, but if you continue to allow the suffering, then it gets so bad, they wind up crying all night some night or screaming all night in pain. I know that would hurt you even worse. To go quietly before it gets that bad is a blessing.
We know that our pets just CAN'T live forever and we understand that we will most likely see them go some day. It leaves a ferocious hole in our hearts, but it's a natural part of life. We know we will lose people as well, but we have to do our grieving and then let it go and just cling to the memories forever. No one can ever take those away from us.
Now having said that, NO, no other dog can ever replace Kelsey. It's so sad when people takea puppy home and expect it to be a clone of their beloved pet. It doesn't happen and they are so disappointed, they toss it out, take it to a shelter or on to a new owner and the poor pup is suddenly unloved and wondering what it did wrong.
If you ever get a puppy, just take it home and tell it, "Hey, there are some big footprints in my heart. Those belong to Kelsey. Just do the best you can and know you are loved even if your little feet never fill them."
The hole in your heart will soon be filled with puppy breath, puppy hugs, loyalty and love that will bring back smiles and great memories of a former love.
It's amazing how fast the pain you feel in that hole in your heart begins to hurt less and less. tell Kelsey you got her a puppy and she will watch over it for you and smile to see you happy again. No, it will never be your Kelsey, but it will make you laugh and entertain you like you could never imagine.
You might go to a shelter and let a puppy that NEEDS you, choose you. I'll bet Kelsey would see that the right one gets you because she knows how much you'd love it!
Best wishes
I know how you feel. I lost my Sam a little over a year ago. I loved him like no other! Something about him just made my world
SOOOO much better. He came from the pound also. I know God put us together. I'm pretty sure I will never love another dog the way I loved him. Most times when I think of him and talk to him. (I still do that) I try and remain thankful that I ever got to love and be loved by him. What a blessing he was to me.
Sorry have to cut this short. Work calls. Dang it. Just know how lucky both of you were to have each other for the time that you did.
I really like some of the suggestions you have gotten. I also think sharing it with us is a good way to heal.
Hugs to you
SOOOO much better. He came from the pound also. I know God put us together. I'm pretty sure I will never love another dog the way I loved him. Most times when I think of him and talk to him. (I still do that) I try and remain thankful that I ever got to love and be loved by him. What a blessing he was to me.
Sorry have to cut this short. Work calls. Dang it. Just know how lucky both of you were to have each other for the time that you did.
I really like some of the suggestions you have gotten. I also think sharing it with us is a good way to heal.
Hugs to you
Lisa is right. Sharing the way you feel helps heal the pain more than anything. As you share, start with the grief and work your way back to when you first hot her, then talk more about the happy times you shared. Sending pictures would help a lot. Be blessed and find peace in the fact that you had a rare and wonderful relationship, then be very thankful for what you had. Grieving is something that MUST be done, and sometimes it takes a long time to fade.
I had two wonderful birds that died when my house burned in 1987 and my grief for them will never go away, but after a couple of years, I got a new bird and it helped me adjust and eased my pain. The hole in my heart will always be there, but it's a little smaller now because of the THREE birds I have.
I pray that sharing your grief with us has helped some, even if just a little to start with.
I had two wonderful birds that died when my house burned in 1987 and my grief for them will never go away, but after a couple of years, I got a new bird and it helped me adjust and eased my pain. The hole in my heart will always be there, but it's a little smaller now because of the THREE birds I have.
I pray that sharing your grief with us has helped some, even if just a little to start with.
Well, some of the reason you are still sad, is because you didn't have any closure. You weren't there when she was gone, and maybe hadn't seen her in a while. We had our 6 month old Rottweiler girl die suddenly of acute renal failure. It was so unexpected, it took me forever to stop crying about it, I am talking like 3 years. We still have pictures of her in our living room, she was gone in 2001. She also died one month after my faher-in-law died, so there was alot of other things going on. Then one of our golden retrievers, the mom of my two dogs I have now, died suddenly as well, and I wasn't home when that happened. So she was really hard to get over.
The truth is, you dog lived much longer life than many dogs do, and it sounds like it was the best life she could have had. As suggested above, find a way to say goodbye to her, a memorial of some kind. We like to plant trees
The truth is, you dog lived much longer life than many dogs do, and it sounds like it was the best life she could have had. As suggested above, find a way to say goodbye to her, a memorial of some kind. We like to plant trees
This is one of the neatest stories I've ever heard. You will know precisely what this little girl is talking about at the end (you'll want to share this one with your loved ones and special friends)!
"Danielle keeps repeating it over and over again. We've been back to this animal shelter at least five times. It has been weeks now since we started all of this," the mother told the volunteer.
"What is it she keeps asking for?" the volunteer asked.
"Puppy size!" replied the mother.
"Well, we have plenty of puppies, if that's what she's looking for."
"I know ... we have seen most of them," the mom said in frustration.
Just then Danielle came walking into the office. "Well, did you find one?" asked her mom.
"No, not this time," Danielle said with sadness in her voice. "Can we come back on the weekend?"
The two women looked at each other, shook their heads and laughed. "You never know when we will get more dogs. Unfortunately, there's always a supply," the volunteer said.
Danielle took her mother by the hand and headed to the door. "Don't worry, I'll find one this weekend," she said.
Over the next few days both mom and dad had long conversations with her. They both felt she was being too particular. "It's this weekend or we're not looking any more," Dad finally said in frustration.
"We don't want to hear anything more about puppy size either," Mom added.
Sure enough, they were the first ones in the shelter on Saturday morning. By now Danielle knew her way around, so she ran right for the section that housed the smaller dogs.
Tired of the routine, mom sat in the small waiting room at the end of the first row of cages. There was an observation window so you could see the animals during times when visitors weren't permitted. Danielle walked slowly from cage to cage, kneeling periodically to take a closer look. One by one the dogs were brought out and she held each one.
One by one she said, "Sorry, you're not the one."
It was the last cage on this last day in search of the perfect pup.
The volunteer opened the cage door and the child carefully picked up the dog and held it closely. This time she took a little longer. "Mom, this is it! I found the right puppy! He's the one! I know it!" she screamed with joy. "It's the puppy size!"
"But it's the same size as all the other puppies you held over the last few weeks," Mom said.
"No not size ---- the SIGHS. When I held him in my arms, he sighed," she said. "Don't you remember? When I asked you one day what love is, you told me love depends on the sighs of your heart. The more you love, the bigger the sigh!"
The two women looked at each other for a moment. Mom didn't know whether to laugh or cry. As she stooped down to hug the child, she did a little of both.
"Mom, every time you hold me, I sigh. When you and Daddy come home from work and hug each other, you both sigh. I knew I would find the right puppy if it sighed when I held it in my arms," she said.
Then holding the puppy up close to her face she said, "Mom, he loves me. I heard the sighs of his heart!"
Close your eyes for a moment and think about the love that makes you sigh. I not only find it in the arms of my loved ones, but in the caress of a sunset, the kiss of the moonlight the gentle brush of cool air on a hot day and the 'size' of a new puppy.
They are the sighs of life. Take the time to stop and listen; you will be surprised at what you hear.
"Life is not measured by the breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
When the time is right, this will happen to you ... it is so hard to say goodbye ... the grief WILL lessen as time passes ...
"Danielle keeps repeating it over and over again. We've been back to this animal shelter at least five times. It has been weeks now since we started all of this," the mother told the volunteer.
"What is it she keeps asking for?" the volunteer asked.
"Puppy size!" replied the mother.
"Well, we have plenty of puppies, if that's what she's looking for."
"I know ... we have seen most of them," the mom said in frustration.
Just then Danielle came walking into the office. "Well, did you find one?" asked her mom.
"No, not this time," Danielle said with sadness in her voice. "Can we come back on the weekend?"
The two women looked at each other, shook their heads and laughed. "You never know when we will get more dogs. Unfortunately, there's always a supply," the volunteer said.
Danielle took her mother by the hand and headed to the door. "Don't worry, I'll find one this weekend," she said.
Over the next few days both mom and dad had long conversations with her. They both felt she was being too particular. "It's this weekend or we're not looking any more," Dad finally said in frustration.
"We don't want to hear anything more about puppy size either," Mom added.
Sure enough, they were the first ones in the shelter on Saturday morning. By now Danielle knew her way around, so she ran right for the section that housed the smaller dogs.
Tired of the routine, mom sat in the small waiting room at the end of the first row of cages. There was an observation window so you could see the animals during times when visitors weren't permitted. Danielle walked slowly from cage to cage, kneeling periodically to take a closer look. One by one the dogs were brought out and she held each one.
One by one she said, "Sorry, you're not the one."
It was the last cage on this last day in search of the perfect pup.
The volunteer opened the cage door and the child carefully picked up the dog and held it closely. This time she took a little longer. "Mom, this is it! I found the right puppy! He's the one! I know it!" she screamed with joy. "It's the puppy size!"
"But it's the same size as all the other puppies you held over the last few weeks," Mom said.
"No not size ---- the SIGHS. When I held him in my arms, he sighed," she said. "Don't you remember? When I asked you one day what love is, you told me love depends on the sighs of your heart. The more you love, the bigger the sigh!"
The two women looked at each other for a moment. Mom didn't know whether to laugh or cry. As she stooped down to hug the child, she did a little of both.
"Mom, every time you hold me, I sigh. When you and Daddy come home from work and hug each other, you both sigh. I knew I would find the right puppy if it sighed when I held it in my arms," she said.
Then holding the puppy up close to her face she said, "Mom, he loves me. I heard the sighs of his heart!"
Close your eyes for a moment and think about the love that makes you sigh. I not only find it in the arms of my loved ones, but in the caress of a sunset, the kiss of the moonlight the gentle brush of cool air on a hot day and the 'size' of a new puppy.
They are the sighs of life. Take the time to stop and listen; you will be surprised at what you hear.
"Life is not measured by the breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
When the time is right, this will happen to you ... it is so hard to say goodbye ... the grief WILL lessen as time passes ...
Thank you so much for the kind words and helpful advice. (I have already planted a rose bush here at my house for her) and my mom has her buried close by with a stone that I got her...I think a lot of it is closuer and I think that people sometimes don't belive that you need it but I do.
She really was fine and then it was like BOOM she was gone. I really like I said didn't expect her to go. She was very "spry" for an old girl her age. If I didn't have a history with her I would have thought her much younger.. I always wanted to take her home with me and just let her live her life with me (she was also stressed with my moms pup who is now about two or three I think) so I really wanted to "shelter" her from that.
I am lucky someone had commented maybe I hadn't seen her. I saw her quite a lot considering. I think maybe about twice to three times a week (my moms about 20 min up the mtn.)
so. I thank everyone again for everything they have suggested. You all made me cry but its a good cry. I miss her so much and someday when my kids are bigger we will get a puppy. She will NOT be Kelsey but I think she will also be just as special.
I continue to trudge through the feelings I still have but feel better knowing I'm not the only one who misses their pet as much a when a human family member goes.
~Jessica.
She really was fine and then it was like BOOM she was gone. I really like I said didn't expect her to go. She was very "spry" for an old girl her age. If I didn't have a history with her I would have thought her much younger.. I always wanted to take her home with me and just let her live her life with me (she was also stressed with my moms pup who is now about two or three I think) so I really wanted to "shelter" her from that.
I am lucky someone had commented maybe I hadn't seen her. I saw her quite a lot considering. I think maybe about twice to three times a week (my moms about 20 min up the mtn.)
so. I thank everyone again for everything they have suggested. You all made me cry but its a good cry. I miss her so much and someday when my kids are bigger we will get a puppy. She will NOT be Kelsey but I think she will also be just as special.
I continue to trudge through the feelings I still have but feel better knowing I'm not the only one who misses their pet as much a when a human family member goes.
~Jessica.
(HUGS) I really hate coming to this forum as it always makes me so sad , just wanted to say I feel your pain , its been 4 years next month since I lost my JJ (king Parrot) and it still hurts, its just something you learn to live with, I wish you all the best and I hope your hurst eases with time.. ...
Hi,
I am sorry to hear about your Kelsey. We lost our goldie two years ago. We had him for 12 years. We took him to the vet because he had started to limp. After the exam the vet came in and told us he had bone cancer and needed to be put down. I never expected that I, as a 53 year old man would break down and cry like I did. My wife and I both just sat there for a long time crying. The vet was very understanding she said take your time and when you get ready to go home and I will send pain medicine home with you so your kids can say goodby. Long story short we had to go ahead and put him down the next day. We could not let let him suffer anymore. It very hard at first but in few weeks we went and got a puppy. My daughter's idea I didn't want another puppy at least not at that moment. I wouldn't go but my wife told me when they got back that they found a puppy. So the next day I went with them. To be honest I didn't warm up to the puppy for a few weeks. Now he is a great friend he can't replace the one we lost but he has added to the family in a new way. I sometime call him by the wrong name but I am glad they made me move on. Eveyone takes a lost differently. One thing you might try is to go help at the dog shelter. You might be surprized how it helps to think of others in your time of sadness. Again if you are up to it. Take your time but like someone has said you do need to go on. Just a thought you may never forget it but you will get through it. We will keep you in our prayers, God Bless
I am sorry to hear about your Kelsey. We lost our goldie two years ago. We had him for 12 years. We took him to the vet because he had started to limp. After the exam the vet came in and told us he had bone cancer and needed to be put down. I never expected that I, as a 53 year old man would break down and cry like I did. My wife and I both just sat there for a long time crying. The vet was very understanding she said take your time and when you get ready to go home and I will send pain medicine home with you so your kids can say goodby. Long story short we had to go ahead and put him down the next day. We could not let let him suffer anymore. It very hard at first but in few weeks we went and got a puppy. My daughter's idea I didn't want another puppy at least not at that moment. I wouldn't go but my wife told me when they got back that they found a puppy. So the next day I went with them. To be honest I didn't warm up to the puppy for a few weeks. Now he is a great friend he can't replace the one we lost but he has added to the family in a new way. I sometime call him by the wrong name but I am glad they made me move on. Eveyone takes a lost differently. One thing you might try is to go help at the dog shelter. You might be surprized how it helps to think of others in your time of sadness. Again if you are up to it. Take your time but like someone has said you do need to go on. Just a thought you may never forget it but you will get through it. We will keep you in our prayers, God Bless
QUOTE (jholman @ Aug 21 2008, 11:08 AM) 
Hi,
I am sorry to hear about your Kelsey. We lost our goldie two years ago. We had him for 12 years. We took him to the vet because he had started to limp. After the exam the vet came in and told us he had bone cancer and needed to be put down. I never expected that I, as a 53 year old man would break down and cry like I did. My wife and I both just sat there for a long time crying. The vet was very understanding she said take your time and when you get ready to go home and I will send pain medicine home with you so your kids can say goodby. Long story short we had to go ahead and put him down the next day. We could not let let him suffer anymore. It very hard at first but in few weeks we went and got a puppy. My daughter's idea I didn't want another puppy at least not at that moment. I wouldn't go but my wife told me when they got back that they found a puppy. So the next day I went with them. To be honest I didn't warm up to the puppy for a few weeks. Now he is a great friend he can't replace the one we lost but he has added to the family in a new way. I sometime call him by the wrong name but I am glad they made me move on. Eveyone takes a lost differently. One thing you might try is to go help at the dog shelter. You might be surprized how it helps to think of others in your time of sadness. Again if you are up to it. Take your time but like someone has said you do need to go on. Just a thought you may never forget it but you will get through it. We will keep you in our prayers, God Bless
I am sorry to hear about your Kelsey. We lost our goldie two years ago. We had him for 12 years. We took him to the vet because he had started to limp. After the exam the vet came in and told us he had bone cancer and needed to be put down. I never expected that I, as a 53 year old man would break down and cry like I did. My wife and I both just sat there for a long time crying. The vet was very understanding she said take your time and when you get ready to go home and I will send pain medicine home with you so your kids can say goodby. Long story short we had to go ahead and put him down the next day. We could not let let him suffer anymore. It very hard at first but in few weeks we went and got a puppy. My daughter's idea I didn't want another puppy at least not at that moment. I wouldn't go but my wife told me when they got back that they found a puppy. So the next day I went with them. To be honest I didn't warm up to the puppy for a few weeks. Now he is a great friend he can't replace the one we lost but he has added to the family in a new way. I sometime call him by the wrong name but I am glad they made me move on. Eveyone takes a lost differently. One thing you might try is to go help at the dog shelter. You might be surprized how it helps to think of others in your time of sadness. Again if you are up to it. Take your time but like someone has said you do need to go on. Just a thought you may never forget it but you will get through it. We will keep you in our prayers, God Bless
thank you for the kind words and understanding.. I hope when my kids get bigger we can get another dog. I'd like a rescue...but I have to wait until my two boys can keep OFF the dog, They climb all over my moms and I don't want that..I think about people who avoid having pets because of the hurt it leaves when they die...but then I think...to NOT have loved my dog. I can't imagine that.
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