Hello - I'm new to this website, but I am not new to owning Quakers or birds at all for that matter. I must admit though, that my 4-year old Quaker, Kermit, has me stumped.

I must also admit that I think I may have made the mistake of allowing him to overbond with me in the beginning, because the children weren't initially capable of being responsible for him and my husband pretty much refuses to be part of the arrangement although he does enjoy Kermit's company on occasion. Initially, Kermit was extremely tame, loving and friendly with everyone until he reached about 1 1/2 years old.

Kermit came to me directly from the breeder as a baby, and Kermit LOVES me - I am definitely his mate! He has even regurgitated food to me on numerous occasions (usually in the spring) - which I discourage - and is completely bonded and tame with me. I can do ANYTHING to or with this bird. He is clever, sweet and very funny. Has a HUGE personality!

He does go to my husband without ever biting, and he seems to prefer grown men to women. There are a few women he will be very sweet and tame with, but mostly he bites women who try to touch or pick him up. He almost always allows men to pick him up and handle him without any nipping or biting at all. Wierd bird, eh?

Visitors are one thing, but the problem is, he does not allow my 10 and 13-year old daughters to touch him at all. He will allow my 6-year son to touch/hold him sometimes, depending on his mood -- crazy animal -- but even then it is only a nip, not a bite. All 3 kids do love him even though he bites, which is a testament to his personality and cleverness.

Unfortunately, he has this attack thing going with my eldest daughter especially. He usually leaves the 10-year old alone unless she tries to pick him up or invades "his space." However, he flies at the 13-year old and tries to bite her (HARD) whenever and wherever he can - even if she is across the room or in another room! He will do this whether or not he is with me, and even when I am not home at all.

We recently allowed his wings to grow - he loves flying and is very adept at landing and hovering. He is fun to play with when he flies. I love how he flies to greet me on command, and when he flies over to kiss my cheek, and so far he has been very obedient and good, except for when he attacks my 13-year old. But…he has been attacking her for almost 3 years now, way before his wings ever grew out, so I don't think this behavior has to do with the wings, although they may be exacerbating it.

My question is, how can I alter this behavior? Is it possible to "undo" an overbonding situation, if in fact Kermit has truly overbonded?

Another fact, although I believe it to be immaterial…we do have another male Quaker, named Cody, with whom Kermit gets along just fine. They get along well enough to share a cage when we travel and share food on the plate or counter, but don't really seem bonded to each other beyond being flockmates. Kermit's aggressive behavior toward my daughter and somewhat toward other women does not seem to be affected by Cody's presence or absence, and he does not display jealousy AT ALL when I "love-on" Cody in front of him. Incidentally, Cody is a LOVE - goes to everyone and lets almost everyone hold and pet him. He is very sweet (except that he hates my husband, but Cody was a rescue with a history of "dad abuse" so that is understandable).

Any ideas or suggestions on dealing with Kermit and helping him to like my daughters again?

Joey does the same thing to my daughter although she is much older. My daughter comes here and bird sits Joey when ever we go away. He know that she is scared of him and he takes advantage of it. He will sind and dance with her but she can't pick him up without him bitting her. We have treid everything .

Cindy Lou - I am terribly sorry to hear that Joey pulls the same stunt as Kermit! At least Kermit isn't unique in this. I wonder if anyone else has dealt with this behavior better than I have! Quakers definitely are the "Big parrot in a small package!" Thanks for your response.

My QP is a very socialable bird, goes to almost anybody that visits, but what I have noticed is a couple of my kids friends are scared of him which in turn Valentine does want to attack them. I did put it down to them showing him that they are scared because he is fine with everybody else. Does your daughter show that she is scared or doesn't wantt to be near your QP?

Yep - she absolutely does! I think it's become a game for Kermit - big payouts when my daughter shrieks and runs away. He will take food from her, but still tries to get a nip off before flying away with the treat.

Any way you know of to undo this? The problem is, she is truly frightened of him - he draws blood!!!

That is sad, but some birds just never learn to like certain people. I have known several people who lived alone that got a bird and the bird hated them, never got over it and had to be re-homed to be happy.

I used to believe if they had given the bird time, it would have settled in and learned to at least get along with the hand that feeds it, but after one friend tried everything possible and was so sweet to her bird, there was no way he could resist, the bird still never liked her.
Some birds are just naturally like my mother-in-law I guess.

Seriously. my birds love me but not my hubby. He likes them just fine and has always been kind to them. This has been going on for 8 years and I doubt it will ever change. We just let them go along with whatever makes them happy.

You may just have to clip his wings so your daughter won't have to be so stressed and intimidated and let the bird find another way to enjoy himself besides flying. He will calm down a lot when he is clipped. That way EVERTONE has a little more peace in their lives.

Thanks for your response - I really do appreciate your input and time. I kind of thought that this behavior of Kermit's was just QP quirkiness - without a fix, that is - but hoping I was wrong. Sounds like maybe not!

He has actually been a bit better the past few weeks as it is getting dark earlier - we have lots of windows, so he doesn't sleep as well when it's light outside. Perhaps the combo wing-clip and increased sleep will tone him down a bit.

Thanks again!

Lisa

I think this behavior can be changed. Sometimes they just don't settle down or understand the same things we do. They have to be trained to understand somethings, although they are very smart little birds!

I think you can start by getting Kermit to associate your daughter with positive reinforcement. Have her come into the room and drop a seed (or some other favorite food item) into Kermit's bowl THROUGH the bars of his cage. She has to be confident and not afraid when she does this. After she drops the treat have her walk away. Do this every time she comes near his cage or into the room where his cage is, but keep him in the cage when she does this. Over time, if you notice a slight change in his behavior, like he isn't lounging at her through the bars, or he seems to look forward to her coming to his cage, have her stay a little closer after dropping the treat. Overtime, and it may take months, he should start to allow her to be right next to the cage while she drops a treat. Then you can move onto trying to handle him, but only after this has been successful. Don't push it with Kermit and take it very slow.

Lisa,
Well, I am no expert on this subject, but I did want to let you know that you are NOT ALONE with that qp behavior. Simon took a dislike to my hubby about 2 months ago which all started with a huge bite to Mark, which he responded with shock, yelling, and putting Simon back where he wanted to be all along. It has taken many hard bites and bloody fingers to correct this at all, and it still happens sometimes. What we had to do is for me to hold Simon on my finger, and Mark put his out and say "step up", and in the beginning, Mark had to take some major bites without showing any emotion at all and when Simon did this, I'd "earthquake" him and say "no bite", then Mark would try again. We have been doing this steadily now for 2 months, and now more often than not, Mark can pick Simon up without much trauma. I'm thinking tho, that this may not work so well with a child, since the key seems to be for the person being bitten to show NO RESPONSE at all, and I think that would be really hard with a child. Any time Simon senses that someone is afraid of him, he will bite and bite hard, so I'm sorry I don't have better advice for you.

On the other hand, Simon is a doll with me....he loves on me and kisses me and will give me the occasional nip, but never hard enough to bleed, and he always acts all sorry if he knows he's hurt me. We play a game where I have him on my finger and make little whistles and kissing noises while I'm holding him in front of my face and he will kiss me all over my face including eyelids, nose and lips and has NEVER EVER hurt me doing this. My vet says that Quakers are just one person birds, and that this is inevitable for them to pick their favorite person.

Introducing Kermit to your daughter away from his cage like SLIC102 said is another approach. I wouldn't do this until he is comfortable with her even being around him though. Just my opinion. I also would not say "no" to him when he bites, you would only be reinforcing the bite by saying anything at all during/immediately after the bite. Just take it slow and have him try to learn to trust her.

Thanks all - I think we will try the treats-through-the-cage and see how it goes. I may have her put his food in, too, so he knows she is caring for him. He's a pistol, though - boy Quakers are smart and very manipulative!

Lisa, is your daughter afraid of your other bird?? Does she handle the other bird at all?? I think you're daughter needs some good experiences with a gentle friendly bird so she can become more comfortable with birds and their actions and reactions. I think the treats are a great idea, but the feeding part should probably wait until you see a positive response to her by Kermit first. Then that can be a next step. But definitely, I would suggest the wing clipping-from what everyone has written, a QP has more "macho" attitude when they can fly. And your daughter should not have to constantly be wary of where the bird is. i think too i've read that a bird will "respect" a person if they have been "rescued" by them. This rescue is an intended desertion
-letting the bird (gently) drop to the floor and leave. The other person comes in and puts their hand (fingers) in step up position and say step up. The bird is usually so happy to be rescued they forget who the person is; and of course a treat in the other had helpas too. As I said, I am not at all an expert, but these are suggestions I've read before